If only

A retort that means, "What you've just said is plainly not true, although I certainly wish it were."

"I'm never going to call or e-mail you again." "If only!"

"Aren't you worried about the Republicans? Once they get into office, they'll reduce the size of government." "If only!"

by Doctor Whom August 3, 2005

If only

it can be used to mean i wish this would happen. or it can also be used as a phrase rto mean maybe if this happens then....

person1: if only i were queen of the world.
person2: if only i was older than maybe he'd like me.

by purpleanjyl September 14, 2005

If only

A less assertive phrase to substitute for "as if", which was commonly used during the Valley Girl phase most frequently in the western United States. (sarcasm.)

Guy: You know you want to hook up with me!
Girl: {{prsh} If only! Keep troopin`.

by C_nonomous September 15, 2005

The Only

When something is so intensely something, it is literally THE ONLY thing of it's kind in specific genre. Can be good, bad or indifferent.

I have THE ONLY headache.

I have to take THE ONLY piss.

She has THE ONLY eyes, dude.

by Faith Alana Alastair February 25, 2009

only

biggest, coolest, most important, worst, any extremety.

"we were making brownies and we made the only mess."

by ghettodawg2 August 8, 2007

if and only if

A term used by mathematicians and logicians to indicate that something happens under very specific conditions. Often seen in proofs and theories.

1) The sum a geometric sequence is given by a/(1-r) if and only if |r| < 1.

2) In a bar:
dumped guy: "My girlfriend left me because I told her I loved her!"
other guy: "What a bitch!"
dumped guy: "No, it's all my fault, she's a mathematician, and I should have said 'I love you and only you'".

by berkanator September 6, 2005

onliness

Definition of onliness

plural -es

: the quality or state of being the only one working of an indicated or implied kind or category <was the only person and was lonely in his onliness>

I looked around and said damn I am the oldest and onliness working out here....

by onliness January 12, 2017