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5.
Posters at conservative website www.freerepublic.com who demonstrate their stunning grasp of wold events daily by reposting e-mailed prayers, dictates from the Presidential Prayer Team, urban legend spam e-mail, and making stupefyingly narrow minded commentary on the place of the USA in the greater world. Freepers away from their keyboard can often be found at gun shows, tractor pulls, bowling alleys, and drinking Mad Dog 20-20 in church dumpsters.

Freeper children are colloqially referred to as "Freeplings" and often spring from different fathers. Freeplings can be discovered in public schools when they unmask by challenging their biology teacher to a debate about Charles Darwin and Evolutionary Theory, two subjects to which they have never been exposed.

Freepers pride themselves on their inability to grasp scientific, mathematical, language learning, or basic dental hygene. Freepers commonly believe that the bible was written in English, that Benjamin Franklin was a Chinese transsexual, that The Confederacy triumphed during the Civil War, and toothbrushes are the implements of a Satanic Communist plot spurred on by the Cavity Creeps

Freeper males can be distinguished by their baseball hats, chewing tobacco stained beards, and low wage jobs. They also maintain a persistant odor of cheap scotch and generic cigarettes.

Freeper females can be distinguished by their baseball hats, chewing tobacco stained beards, and low wage jobs. They also maintain a persistant odor of cheap scotch and generic cigarettes. Freeper females enter breeding age at 12 and often begin reproducing within their family unit at 13.

Many Freeplings are crosseyed hemophiliacs.

Freepers thrive under the misconception that President Bush would like to share a warm Strohs beer and some Buffalo wings with them. They also believe President Bush is infallable, can heal the sick, and were it not for those meddling demoncrats have already thrown the UN out of New York, invaded every other country on Earth to seed democracy, and lowered their taxes such that they could finally pay off their 1984 Chevy Custom Deluxe pickup.

Freeper fail English? Unpossible!
by BigMcLargehuge October 24, 2006
 
8.
Ardent basement-dwelling keyboard warriors who are possessed of a sport's fan mentality, and frequent the site 'Freerepublic.com'. Freepers as a group epitomize the very essence of hypocrisy. Almost universally self-described as 'Christians', Freepers are also almost universally pro-war, antagonistic to the poor and infirm, pro-authoritarian, and open to the use of violence in lieu of civil discussion and process. Freepers, being naturally prone to fear, are also terrified of non-whites, Muslims or anyone that looks like they might be Muslim, and of course, 'teh Gays'. Freepers will express this fear as threats of violence as they believe doing so hides the fact that they are either cowards or closeted 'queers' themselves.

Having a more simplistic 'black and white' mentality, Freepers are easily manipulated into believing many erroneous and irrational ideas that are detrimental to the nation's middle and lower classes, which the Freepers inexplicably feel they are above while exercising lifestyles that involve co-habitation with parents or siblings and harvesting road-kill to supplement a diet of Cheetos™ and generic cola products.

In print, Freepers are universally incapable of employing proper grammar or spelling despite their purported love for English as America's "ofical" language. In person, they will display an inability to grasp concepts such as 'Heat=Energy', 'Substantiation', and even 'Respiration' if they accidentally close their mouths.
"Mommy, why's that man digging in Ms. Robin's trash cans?"
"Oh, that's a Freeper honey... don't get near him."

"My going to the dentist is like a Freeper going to the library."

"How many Freepers does it take to change a lightbulb?"
Zero; "Ma! The light burned out agin!"
by Dr. Eldritch July 24, 2011
 
9.
A FReeper is a member of Free Republic, a supposedly open conservative forum devoted to issues dear to the hearts of patriotic Americans.

Issues important to FReepers include:

1) Unlimited access to firearms, including but not limited to: hand guns, machine guns, sniper rifles, RPG and other explosive anti personnel weapons, as well as small nuclear devices. These weapons should be available for sale, by constitutional right, everywhere without restriction or registration.

It is also the constitutional right of every American to carry any and all of the above weapons in any public place including; churches, maternity wards, the public highways, sporting events and most appropriately, funerals.

2) The FReeper does not believe in Democracy except at the State level. For the FReeper, the Federal government is merely a vehicle for the usurpation of freedom by Communists and Democrats (who FReepers view to be pretty much the same thing)

3) The FReeper is pro life except for illegal aliens (any brown non English speaking person), traffic violators and teenagers who walk across your lawn, all of whom can and should be shot in self defense.
4) The FReeper believes the world is divided into two groups; Freedom loving, God fearing, Americans (themselves) and
Communists, Illegal Alien Panderers, Islamofascists and their enablers (everyone else)

5) FReepers are tax hawks except for federal funding for the military, for whom no amount of money earned, taxed or borrowed is ever too much. Any military adventure or cockamamy weapons program is worthy of patriotic support.

FReepers who deviate from the herd on any of these subjects are generally not welcome at FR and will likely face the banhammer, or Zot as it is known on FR.
by The-Big-G November 02, 2011
 
10.
a person who stalks hard. also known as a freaking creeper.
John lurks everyone's Facebook. What a freeper.
by sally swift December 30, 2009
 
11.
A facebook creeper. Someone who chronically checks pictures, usually of the opposite sex.

Also has a lot of friends on facebook that they do not actually know.
Shirley: Why is Dexter's laptop always on when we go over?

Jan: Ya, he is on facebook chat all the time! What is he doing?

Shirley: He is probably a freeper.

Jan: /shutters
by John Joe Doe August 24, 2009
 
12.
Free Republic is a fellowship of men and women (FReepers) who share their experience, strength, hope, and knowledge with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from liberalism.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to be free. There are no dues or fees for Free Republic membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions.

Free Republic is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution (unless Jim says so), but its members sure are. Our primary purpose is to stay conservative and help other people to achieve liberty.
I am a FReeper and dedicated to ending liberalism as it is practised in this country.
by LonePalm October 08, 2006
 
13.
A Conservative who reads information that is of public interest and uses free speech to opine
A Freeper might post the following:

You can make me convert to Islam, give up my gun, and/or vote for the Democrats, after you retrieve my body from a large pile of empty brass.
by do the Dhue October 07, 2006
 
14.
A FReeper is an independent free thinking individual not educated by MTV, motion pictures,Starbucks, Ted Rall or Bill Maher.

Also, they are hated by all those whose fathers have failed them.
Starbuckian leftist:"You neo-con freepers are sycophants to Bush"

FReeper:"I am sorry your father failed you."
by Guido1776 September 25, 2007