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1.
...smacked arse, bag of spanners, box of frogs, bulldog chewing on a wasp, smashed crab, Chernobyl Fireman's Head etc.

Ugly beyond reproach.
Dave: "That lad's got a face like a chernobyl fireman's head."
Bill: "As I understand it, he was in fact a chernobyl fireman."
Dave: "(sings) #It's a wonderful life...#" (etc)
by Bonny lad November 11, 2004