Face Like A

...smacked arse, bag of spanners, box of frogs, bulldog chewing on a wasp, smashed crab, Chernobyl Fireman's Head etc.

Ugly beyond reproach.

Dave: "That lad's got a face like a chernobyl fireman's head."
Bill: "As I understand it, he was in fact a chernobyl fireman."
Dave: "(sings) #It's a wonderful life...#" (etc)

by Bonny lad November 11, 2004

Face like a Brexiter

Sour faced. miserable old sod ( or ‘Gammon’ )
Never smiles. Resents everything and everyone . See also “Face like a slapped-Arse”

See that old biddy with a Face Like A Brexiter complaining about the Darkies coming over here while the Jamaican nurse changes her incontinence pads

by JosefKerr September 27, 2018

face like thunder

face looks like a terrible hurricane/ struck by lightening or electricuted.
just generally your a right ugly beast

rite darlin' uv gota face like thunda

by yolande June 24, 2004

face like a welders bench

based on a used welders bench, when welding lots of small lumps of metal fly of the object being welded as sparks and solidify on the bench giving it a spotted lumpy look. therefore a girl with a face like a welders bench is ugly, spotty, has a pock marked face, generally rough and not a pleasant sight

A: eeeuurrgh, that lucy's got a face like a welders bench
B: yeh she's well butters

by ontour February 29, 2012

face like a grieving cod!

really moody sad face, glum.

Jack Dee, with your face like a grieving cod!

by The Azmeister October 5, 2009

A face like a dropped pie

To denote the profound grotesque appearance of a persons face.

"Fuck Me! She has a face like a dropped pie"

by Mojo Staplegun July 23, 2008

Face like a melted welly

Disfigured face.

Don't fancy yours much, she's got a face like a melted welly

by iamamanufan January 11, 2011