a person who tries hard in EVERYTHING they do but never comes out on top. Who is only kept around to be made fun of. Drinks hawaiian punch while they tell stories of lumberjacks dancing and soddomizing goats, and as well as always trying to be so spab but never reaching his potential, or any potential of that matter. Usually has inner thoughts of elfs celebrating hannukah and launching nuclear attacks on the Amish.
Citizen: (watches an Eyers drop coffee standing still) WTF your such an eyers!

Eyers: I know, I know..
by RifleOfGod December 30, 2009
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When you eat something that is too tart, and you can't help but close 1 eye.
While having a salad with dried cherries, I bit into a tart cherry and it caused me to have a one eyer.
by July 17, 2022
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Somebody who likes to look at asses.
"Dude did you see that girls ass." "Fucking ass eyer, your a perve."
by Cheeseheadbobpants November 16, 2011
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A very 'tall' individual with an entrancing 'stature'. He has red hair, and a greatly exaggerated jawline.
'I would fuck Fergus Patrick Eyers in the asshole with my Master Blaster'
by 100% Factual and Sourced March 1, 2023
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Fergus is a very 'tall' individual, with a lot of 'stature'. He has red hair and a big nose. He has a greatly exaggerated jawline and is maybe gay.
'Man Fergus Eyers has such a big 'gift', I wish he'd give me a dirty cooper'
by 100% Factual and Sourced March 1, 2023
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