A 108 year old virgin that's the second main character in the Twilight saga. He sparkles in the sun, is a abusive to his "mate" (the bitch known as Bella Swan), and is overly lovey-dovey and boring. Many Twilight fangirls think he's hot, but he makes sane people want to vomit. He claims to be a vampire, but since vampires don't sparkle, he's most likely some species of gay fairy.
Twilight Fangirl: I want to marry Edward Cullen! Don't you?
Sane Person: Sorry, I don't do sparkly retards.
Sane Person: Sorry, I don't do sparkly retards.
by JadeHeartOfFire March 22, 2009
Probably the worst Vampire ever to grace the pages of a book. Character is dull, boring, doesn't do much except fall in love with some human that he's afraid to bite. In other words, not a real Vampire, but more of a handsome school boy who simply falls for the ''new girl''. Not even in the ranking of the greatest Vampire in history. Nothing compared to Vampires such as Count Dracula and other legendary Vampiric figures. Nothing more than a love sick pretty boy.
by XCountXDraculaX March 26, 2009
The subject of the adoration of a nation of female sycophants. Aforementioned sycophants may be teenaged or middle-aged. The jury is currently out on which is less pathetic.
The "perfect man", hero of Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" series. The last time I checked, the perfect man was not a controlling stalker, but hey. That's just me. Maybe you all would LOVE IT if your boyfriend forbid you from seeing your best friend and stared at you while you had inappropriate dreams about other men. (see "perfection")
The least original romantic hero ever written.
The "perfect man", hero of Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" series. The last time I checked, the perfect man was not a controlling stalker, but hey. That's just me. Maybe you all would LOVE IT if your boyfriend forbid you from seeing your best friend and stared at you while you had inappropriate dreams about other men. (see "perfection")
The least original romantic hero ever written.
by missmagpie January 20, 2009
Pretty boy "vampire" that falls for a human girl (Bella). He is controlling, abusive, obsessive, and a stalker.
He is controlling and abusive because he forces Bella to go to prom, dismantles her car so she can't see Jacob, and recruits Alice to kidnap Bella and hold her hostage at his home.
He is obsessive and a stalker because he stands in the corner of Bella's room watching her sleep everynight without her knowledge and he also follows her around, reading the minds of others to find out her whereabouts.
He is controlling and abusive because he forces Bella to go to prom, dismantles her car so she can't see Jacob, and recruits Alice to kidnap Bella and hold her hostage at his home.
He is obsessive and a stalker because he stands in the corner of Bella's room watching her sleep everynight without her knowledge and he also follows her around, reading the minds of others to find out her whereabouts.
1. Girl: OH MY GAWD EDWARD CULLEN IS SOOOO HOTTTT!!!! AND THE WAY HE WATCHES BELLA SLEEP IS SOOOO CUTE! I WISH I HAD A BOYFRIEND LIKE THAT!!
Me: You mean you wish you had a vampire boyfriend that stands in the corner of your room, watching you sleep with out you knowing??? And then follows you around wherever you go???
Girl: YEAH!! I BROKE UP WITH MY BOYFRIEND BECAUSE HE ISN'T LIKE EDWARD AT ALL!
Me: ....
2. Edward Cullen: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Me: *gag*
Me: You mean you wish you had a vampire boyfriend that stands in the corner of your room, watching you sleep with out you knowing??? And then follows you around wherever you go???
Girl: YEAH!! I BROKE UP WITH MY BOYFRIEND BECAUSE HE ISN'T LIKE EDWARD AT ALL!
Me: ....
2. Edward Cullen: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Me: *gag*
by screaminghallelujah6 April 27, 2009
97 year old pedophile who stalks underage girls while they sleep, not to mention the cannibalistic fetish of suckin their blood out from a fresh wound.
by thisisit December 28, 2009
Here are the massive flaws of the vampire, Edward, in Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series. And yes. I hate the book. Completely stupid thing to fill your minds up with.
1. He's so darn overprotective of Bella that sometimes i want to strangle him. "I won't let you go over the the werewolf pack cuz you might get hurt by the other guy who loves you." Completely valid reason, Edward.
2. EDWARD'S FRICKEN INK ON PAPER, GIRLS, YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY TELL ME HE'S GORGOUS. NO!!! DON'T DROOL ON YOUR SO-CALLED "BIBLE" OVER A COUPLE OF INK SPLOTS! AGH, THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!
3. He hates Jacob. Well, i hate Jacob, too, but still. I thought he was PERFECTION, girls, so he can't hate anybody!!! For a couple of reaons: 1, Jacob's in love with Bella..(i thought jacob had better taste than BELLA...?) I don't blame Eddy for that. Okay, secondly, he's jealous. WHAT'S THAT, DROOLING FANGIRLS!? I THOUGHT HE WAS "PERFECTION"!!! And thirdly, he hates werewolves because he's predejuced. OMG! LOOKS LIKE EDWARD ISN'T PERFECTION!!! who knew?
1. He's so darn overprotective of Bella that sometimes i want to strangle him. "I won't let you go over the the werewolf pack cuz you might get hurt by the other guy who loves you." Completely valid reason, Edward.
2. EDWARD'S FRICKEN INK ON PAPER, GIRLS, YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY TELL ME HE'S GORGOUS. NO!!! DON'T DROOL ON YOUR SO-CALLED "BIBLE" OVER A COUPLE OF INK SPLOTS! AGH, THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!
3. He hates Jacob. Well, i hate Jacob, too, but still. I thought he was PERFECTION, girls, so he can't hate anybody!!! For a couple of reaons: 1, Jacob's in love with Bella..(i thought jacob had better taste than BELLA...?) I don't blame Eddy for that. Okay, secondly, he's jealous. WHAT'S THAT, DROOLING FANGIRLS!? I THOUGHT HE WAS "PERFECTION"!!! And thirdly, he hates werewolves because he's predejuced. OMG! LOOKS LIKE EDWARD ISN'T PERFECTION!!! who knew?
Me: "I think the books are addicting, but lacking alot. For example, look at Edward!! Completely boring. I perfer Carlisle to Eddy.
Drooling Fangirl #1(completely ignoring me): No! I <3 Edward!! He's mine!
Drooling Fangirl #2 (Tearing at Fangirl #1's I <3 Edward cullen t-shirt): Whatever! I read the book first! I get edward.
Me: HE'S FRICKEN INKSPLOTS, WHAT DON'T YOU GET ABOUT THAT?!?!?
Drooling Fangirl #1(completely ignoring me): No! I <3 Edward!! He's mine!
Drooling Fangirl #2 (Tearing at Fangirl #1's I <3 Edward cullen t-shirt): Whatever! I read the book first! I get edward.
Me: HE'S FRICKEN INKSPLOTS, WHAT DON'T YOU GET ABOUT THAT?!?!?
by classicalmusicgurl December 22, 2008
A vampire that many girls see as the perfect guy. GET A LIFE, hes from a fiction book. and besides, if a vampire named edward does turn up one day, were guna blow the livin sh*t outa him. not addore him for feeding off livestock.
by wheredtheygo September 14, 2008