Unattractiv Brittish actor who actually did well in playing his part of Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter but then he screwed his career by taking up the role of Edward Cullen in Twilight. He also doesn't wash his hair because apparently, greasy hair is now sexy.
Also see: ugly
Me: (walks by Robert Pattinson) Ew.. what's that smell??
An insult to literature; the absolute worst book of the Twilight Saga
-Bella (18 year old human) and Edward (108 year old vampire) get married.
-Bella and Edward have vampire sex and Bella ends up with bruises and feathers all over her body (Edward bit a pillow)
-Her eggo gets preggo (major plot hole- Edward is a vampire so his sperm is dead) with a demon child that sucks her blood and breaks her ribs, pelvis, and spine from the inside of her uterus.
-Edward gives Bella a C-section with his teeth.
-They name the baby RENESMEE. poor kid. gonna get beat up in the school yard. :/
-Bella becomes a vampire and they have sex a bunch of times.
-Volturi want to kill Renesmee
-For 200 pgs, they fret and worry about how they're all gonna die
-They convince the Volturi Renesmee isn't a threat. That's right, no fight scene or anything.
-They live happily ever after. Even the title of the last chapter is titled "Happily Ever After"
I recommend this book to: airheads, morons, anyone who wants to spoon their eyes out
Edward: Forever and forever and forever...
(the ending to Breaking Dawn = corny)
Pretty boy "vampire" that falls for a human girl (Bella). He is controlling, abusive, obsessive, and a stalker.
He is controlling and abusive because he forces Bella to go to prom, dismantles her car so she can't see Jacob, and recruits Alice to kidnap Bella and hold her hostage at his home.
He is obsessive and a stalker because he stands in the corner of Bella's room watching her sleep everynight without her knowledge and he also follows her around, reading the minds of others to find out her whereabouts.
1. Girl: OH MY GAWD EDWARD CULLEN IS SOOOO HOTTTT!!!! AND THE WAY HE WATCHES BELLA SLEEP IS SOOOO CUTE! I WISH I HAD A BOYFRIEND LIKE THAT!!
Me: You mean you wish you had a vampire boyfriend that stands in the corner of your room, watching you sleep with out you knowing??? And then follows you around wherever you go???
Girl: YEAH!! I BROKE UP WITH MY BOYFRIEND BECAUSE HE ISN'T LIKE EDWARD AT ALL!
2. Edward Cullen: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
A soul-sucking and pointless course you are forced to take your junior year at Mount de Sales
. Taught by an insane Filipino lady, it is designed to make your brain implode before the final exam. Everyone sleeps in the class and no one learns a single thing because the teacher just goes off on monologues for an hour and a half and no one can understand her accent. Then comes the final exam and you're expected to know everything that happened from Jesus' crucifixion to the Diet of Worms. Whatever the fuck that is.
Mom: So what'd you learn in church history today?
Me: Oh, I learned about all the different heresies, protestantism, etc. We've also had about 54385798327549 bad popes.
Sue: Church history is the biggest waste of life.
Me: I do my precalc homework in that class.
Me: So... this Church history exam....
Ellen: Fuck that shit.
A band that isn't that great. Haley Williams has great pipes but the ones playing the instruments need to go back to taking lessons. The songs all sound the same because it's all just noise in the background. Go listen to Dream On and then compare it to Dude Looks Like a Lady and see how good bands have variety.
Me (was once a die-hard fan): Paramore used to be good, but after Riot! their music just turned to noise. If there were no words, there'd be no way to tell the songs apart.