Goofus:...So bro, I try to zip up my pants and I trip over her middle school diploma rolled up on the floor and then her dad busts in the room acting like someone broke into the place. So I wipe my dick off on the drapes and tuck myself into my pants and ask him what the bummer was!? He was completely harshing our mellow! I had to try and settle him down, letting him know how uncool it was to cockblock his own daughter, but he wasn't having it and said I had to leave! He kept on saying how he recognized me from his 20 year high school reunion and all this old dude shit. This went on for about an hour and he was just acting like a complete dick bro, like it just went in circles on and on and on. Like, its as if his dicky-ness were spokes on a bike wheel. And instead of bike spokes they were dicks. Like a wagon-wheel but like a Dick Wheel bro. You feel me?
Gallant: ...it takes everything in me to not call your Parole Officer on an hourly basis
Gallant: ...it takes everything in me to not call your Parole Officer on an hourly basis
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