An STD, named after anyone that was in a marching band. Symptoms include itchiness, red spots, anal leakage, breast tissue growth and listening to Neil Diamond on repeat for days at a time. Unfortunately no treatment at this time is available except for palliative care including cool baths in oatmeal, listening to Kenny G, and always double bagging it.
Girl 1: oh shit, green eyes and blonde hair, AND he knows fingering techniques?
Girl 2: Dont Lisa, last I heard, he was receiving treatment for a 'blown out clarinet'.
by HM Barber February 23, 2019
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the best instrument ever. plays in concert, marching, and jazz bands. mostly girls and gays but some random football players too (for some reason.) can be used as an insult or a compliment. better than saxophones.
trumpet: is that girl a clarinet?
trombone: how could you say that...?

saxophone: ew its a clarinet
clarinet: we're just better than u lmao stay mad
by paztels April 17, 2023
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The clarinet is the best instrument in the band, and the one with the most parts to put together. The clarinets are usually always the band director's favorite section because they actually LEARN their part and don't talk while the director's talking (unlike the trumpets), and listen to the director, unlike the percussionists.
Band Director: Thank you clarinets for actually learning your parts to the music and practicing, UNLIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. (saying "UNLIKE EVERBODY ELSE" louder so everybody else can hear him.)
Clarinets: *Sitting there, feeling super proud*
The rest of the band: *Feeling guilty for not practicing and learning the music*
by Dance_Softball_Gurl December 28, 2022
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The clarinet is the best instrument in the band, and the one with the most parts to put together. The clarinets are usually always the band director's favorite section because they actually LEARN their parts and DON'T TALK while the director's talking (unlike the trumpets), and LISTEN to the director, unlike the percussionists.
Band Director: Thank you clarinets for actually learning your parts to the music and practicing, UNLIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. I wish you knuckleheads would be more like the clarinets. (saying "UNLIKE EVERYBODY ELSE" louder so everybody else can hear him and kindly teasing the rest of the band by calling them knuckleheads, as that's their little class nickname.)
by Dance_Softball_Gurl December 28, 2022
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The most gay and annoying instrument out there. People only play it because they are small and cheap.
by dumbassmoron December 12, 2019
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A crooked clarinet is an affectionate term for a crooked dick.
Please give me some of that sweet, sweet crooked clarinet! Ahhh! Ohhh! Yassss!
by Purplenado March 8, 2023
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