Christian holiday moved to conflict with the time of year when everyone everywhere (and everywhen) celebrates the winter solstice (point of Earth's orbit where, in the northern temperate zones, the sun's zenith slows its southern decent and begins moving north again = another year to live).

2. Hodgepodge of ancient and not-so-ancient rituals, including sacrificing a tree to Mother Nature, celebrating the miracle that got Nicholas his sainthood (reassembling murdered and hacked up child parts in a barrel back into children), and, oh, the birth of Jesus, a jew, and the guy that made 12 of his buddies drink his blood and eat his flesh, before he got executed and came back from the dead. (Can you say "zombie"?)

3. Day that Santa brings new socks and undies. If your bad, you get coal (to keep from freezing) and an orange (for vitamin C to prevent scurvy).
Fucking Christmas. I wanna get drunk.
by danw December 22, 2003

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one reason the unemployment rate is going up
Husband: how much money did u spend this year on the gifts for Christmas honey?
Wife: idk, probably about $10,000.

Husband: stupid bitch! We're already in debt $5,000!!

(The family files for unemployment 2 weeks later)
by meth0d man December 25, 2010

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The best motherfucking day of the year.
Dude, it's like Christmas in July!
by G-$lam December 13, 2010

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The punchline at the end of a year long joke
The planet has been blown up to make room for an interstellar bypass...must be Christmas, never could get the hang of Christmas
by S. A. Jackson December 25, 2007

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The release date of Alien vs Predator Requiem (AVP-R)
Person 1: What are you doing on Christmas?
Person 2: Oh, you know, spending some time with the family. You?
Person 1: Fuck that, I'm going to see AVP-R.
by Dave from ATL December 24, 2007

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The best freakin' holiday ever! Except it's starting to cross the line from really awesome, to annoying, because it's starting before thanksgiving, more than a month before christmas.
Jeff: Man, Christmas rules!
Ian: Hell yeah it does!

Jesus: Damn you advertisers for stealing my birthday! DAAAAAAAMN YOOOOUU!
by Fantastic Dan November 21, 2005

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The time of year when Santa rises from the dead. Hypnotises a couple of reindeer hanging out in a log cabin to be his slaves and uses them to carry his fat carcass to small childrens house and lick the naughty ones whilst emptying his bulging red sack down the chiminey of the good ones...then killing the reindeer and storing them in the freezer...
four more reindeers were missing today due to christmas
by Dr Fennopolis December 31, 2003

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Christmas has many origins pagan and christian but the christmas tree originally came around in the 14th century i believe it would be hung upside down and represented the christian triad, meaning the father son and holy ghost. Evergreen trees were chosen because of their conic shape which if viewed only two dimensional looks like a triangle and represents the triad.
yay christmas a temporary end to an economic repression
by medium pimpin matt December 29, 2003

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