The act of consuming massive amounts of spoiled Canadian bacon in an effort to produce explosive, vile smelling diarrhea. Once a good case of the squirts has developed, the feces is sprayed directly from the anus to the face, neck, and chest of a willing (or unwilling) partner. In this context, the word "Canadian" refers to the bacon being consumed in preparation of the act while "history" refers to the fact that the bacon is rancid and/or past it's expiration date.
You - "Whatcha eatin'?"

Me - "Some rotten Canadian bacon. I'm gonna give the ol' lady a Canadian History later on."

You - "Cool. Can I watch?"
by Fathead 666 February 06, 2010
A sex act involving the application of maple syrup via a beer bottle while tied to a set of moose antlers and the use of a hockey stick both as a spanking intstiment and as a inertable sex toy

afterwords you eat bacon and drink a beer
did you hear Paris Hilton performed a Canadian History in her latest sex tape
by Mr. Xero February 04, 2010
A special sexual action that is generally only performed by members of a small sexual sub-culture who suffer from Canadymphomania.

Foreplay consists of watching a hockey game while engaging in verbal sexual foreplay (the more ehs that can be included in this portion the better).

Most canadymphomaniacs prefer to use Canadian national brand condoms which are, not surprisingly, shaped as maple leaves. These condoms are also unique in that the company uses only the purest maple syrup for its lubrication.

Both individuals engaged in the Canadian History are dressed as mounties, and depending on level of skill with the sex act try to engage in intercourse while removing as little of their costume as possible. The actual position of the sex act is independently referred to as the mounty.

More daring individuals try to do canadian history in daring locations i.e. mooseback, at the summit of any Canadian mounty, or in any public location within the province of Quebec for the added sexual stimulant of insulting the province's natives who do not fill the Canadymphomaniacs sexual desire for Canadian partners.

After a successful completion it is common to head over to Tim Horton's to unwind by being unnaturally nice to strangers and pretending to belong to a sovereign nation despite still being subjects of the British Queen.
John: So, Susie... would you ever be interested in doing a Canadian History?

Susie: Oh, John! I thought you'd never ask, I've had a bullmoose on reserve at the local farm just waiting for you to proposition!
by tayle February 05, 2010
Stretching the vagina starting with smaller dildos and moving up to very large ones to stretch the vagina to be large enough to then be penetrated with a little person (dwarf).
Another person (usually a man) holds the little person and moves them in and out of the stretched vagina - doing a Canadian History. Sometimes the person being penetrated is also urinated upon at the same time (Canadian Maritime History).
by Modern Canadian Historian February 04, 2010
Canadian Ritual, To recieve or administer an Enema using Maple Syrup, typically while biting down on a Hockey Puck to withstand the immense satisfaction.
"Wanna use my beer bong for a little Canadian History Eh"
"I'll go get the puck...Eh"
by The Hawkeye February 05, 2010
to defecate, freeze the fecal matter and than use it as a sex toy on ones partner during intercourse.
Last night i gave Lisa a Canadian History and now she has an infection.
by jackedonu February 04, 2010
A dank hole in an otherwise lifeless tundra.
Boy, I sure am tired of staring at all of this Canadian History, really gets me down.
by Bill Brinkly February 05, 2010

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