A collection of scriptures written by men such as, but not limited to, Moses, David, Solomon, Daniel, Matthew, Mark, Luke, Peter, James, John, and Paul (formerly Saul). All were inspired by God and are considered holy and good for teaching, reproof, correction, & for training in righteousness. While faith is required, archeology has proven many aspects of Biblical accounts of history to be true, even by secularists who deny any supernatural elements. The Bible teaches that a virgin gave birth to the Son of God, (virgin birth sounds silly but God can do whatever he wants, because he literally controls the universe, so the point is moot). This Person, Jesus, lived sinlessly and was killed for telling the truth about his Godly nature and the hypocrisy of religious leaders of the time. He rose again three days later and his followers spread this message, with some receiving devine inspiration for their writings.
by Charlie 27 December 25, 2020
An ancient novel full of murder, corruption, homosexuality, bestiality, incest and cruelty. It is often read to children on Sunday.
by The Canadian Information Minister May 13, 2003
A book written by a bunch of hippies, about 2000 years ago, who were smoking some serious hash at the time. Never actually figured for their text to be taken seriously.
"Hey, Josh, dude, let's put some shit in their about a guy, right?"
"Yeah, rad man, and he can be like... uh, tossed overboard into the, uh, like ocean, right?"
"Cool, and then, like... a giant fish, just like, comes up and swallows him, man."
"AWWWWH, far out man!"
"And he could then, like, chill in the fish for a few days, before it like... spits him back out, you know?"
"Chilled man."
"What should we call this book, yo?"
"How about, like, someting that sounds like Babel."
"Yeah, like the town."
"Only, bib... Bibe.... oh, The Bible!"
"Holy shit man!"
"Yeah, rad man, and he can be like... uh, tossed overboard into the, uh, like ocean, right?"
"Cool, and then, like... a giant fish, just like, comes up and swallows him, man."
"AWWWWH, far out man!"
"And he could then, like, chill in the fish for a few days, before it like... spits him back out, you know?"
"Chilled man."
"What should we call this book, yo?"
"How about, like, someting that sounds like Babel."
"Yeah, like the town."
"Only, bib... Bibe.... oh, The Bible!"
"Holy shit man!"
by Degree7 July 9, 2009
The Bible in 50 words...
God made, Adam bit, Noah arked, Abraham split, Joseph ruled, Jacob fooled,Bush talked, Moses balked, Pharaoh plagued, people walked, sea divided, tablets guided, Promise landed, Saul freaked, David peeked, prophets warned, Jesus born, God walked, love talked, anger crucified, hope died, Love rose, Spirit flamed, Word spread, God remained.
God made, Adam bit, Noah arked, Abraham split, Joseph ruled, Jacob fooled,Bush talked, Moses balked, Pharaoh plagued, people walked, sea divided, tablets guided, Promise landed, Saul freaked, David peeked, prophets warned, Jesus born, God walked, love talked, anger crucified, hope died, Love rose, Spirit flamed, Word spread, God remained.
by alvit May 20, 2009
A large book well over 1,000 pages written about a single subject (i.e. Christianity, chicken, heck, even a dictionary could be the bible of words.).
Jake: "Hey guys! Wanna read my Gun Bible?"
Nick: "No! The Holy Christian Bible is where it's at."
Kyle: "But my Chicken Cooking Bible is the only way to go!"
Nick: "No! The Holy Christian Bible is where it's at."
Kyle: "But my Chicken Cooking Bible is the only way to go!"
by crisisT47 July 15, 2016
by Mr. Seuss, PhD June 5, 2011
The most controversial book ever. Some people find truth and happiness, some people hate it, and others kill because of it.
by _culture_ November 23, 2006