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1.
Person with short, fat, sausage-like fingers.
How big does that pint look in his Beadle hands?!
by Homer J Simpson January 04, 2005
 
2.
To be dealt an awful set of cards in any card-related game, so named after the deformed claw belonging to TV’s own Jeremy Beadle: i.e. a ‘crap hand’
"Fuck me lads, I fold. Been dealt a propper beadle!"
"hehe yeah. Jeremy Beadle. What a cunt"
by Burro's Dead Nan November 26, 2006
 
3.
A term used to describe anything of diminutive size, from the shrivelled, dessicated spazz hand owned by cheeky TV personality Jeremy Beadle. The shit.
My god check out your Beadle penis!
Waaaaaaaaaa! I'm only as god made me!
by john-I February 19, 2004
 
4.
a Caucasian woman who is unpleasant or offensive to sight; an ugly white chick.
All the Coors Light and caffeine in the world and Billy still wouldn't touch that beadle.
by wyebloc February 24, 2012
 
5.
To pick up the stack of cards in a game of Shithead leaving you with one big hand and one small.
Gutted, now i've got a right beadle. I'll never get rid of these.
by Girry April 23, 2008
 
6.
Any person, living or dead, who dances and dresses better than you. Generally a smoker of clove cigarettes and drinker of coffee, an intellectual, a gentleman, a scholar and almost definitely out of your league. Always has a highly intelligent, smokin' hottie from Littleton Panel on his arm.

The closest thing to Jesus this side of Heaven.
"That Beadle is some kinda wonderful."

"Don't mess that Beadle, the kids got mad intellect."
by IAMBEADLE September 03, 2008
 
7.
someone who spends his time (both while awake and asleep) masturbating behind a computer screen
Don't be a beadle
by ms November 27, 2003