While a woman is performing fellatio on a man she makes honking noises and gives him a raspberry at the same time. Both hands should be massaging any and all parts of the man.

If the man farts while the rusty bassoon is being performed, it makes it that much better.
After a symphony concert...

Man: Hey, you played great tonight! Put your good bassoon away, and come back to my place. I uh have a bassoon I want you to blow on. It's a rusty bassoon though...

Woman: Oh OK? So it needs to be cleaned?

Man: Why yes, it does.

Woman: Sounds great!
by rusty bassoon August 30, 2009
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1. Going into the back room under the pretense of practicing the bassoon. However, the perpetrator proceeds to smoke the devil's lettuce, usually using the bassoon as a bong.

2. A euphemism for smoking pot.
Taylor: What were you doing back there?

Ben: Just practicing the bassoon.

Taylor: Oh. Gotcha ;)
by Mr. Stanturf September 10, 2011
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Gods blessed section of humankind graced with the knowledge of the bassoon. Tend to be clueless and nutty, but ingenious people. Fellow band kids will often warn others not to mention music around them, as they will either complain about their lack of solos, the fact that they are the backbone of the band, that the one time there's more than one bassoon part and they don't get first, and their plan to overthrow first chair and secretly find a way to have influence over all band directors and student leadership.
That bassoon player is enjoying his 2 measure solo WAY too much.

That first chair bassoon player is pretty weird and sometimes psychotic.
by Allie Mallie April 20, 2016
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Also known as the 2-Dick-1-Girl Lift. The act of two men lifting a woman into the air by inserting one cock into a vagina and one cock into the asshole. The two men then lift viciously in hope of performing a Czechslovakian Bassoon.
Dude: Hey man, lets go do the Czechslovakian Bassoon. Dude 2: Great! I just stretched my cock.
by SexyRocksez November 18, 2009
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An incredibly expensive instrument that makes a noise equivalent to a trombone mouthpiece. It is probably the least important instrument in the band.
I could play the bassoon part on my mouthpiece, and the directer wouldn't know the difference.

I thought someone killed a duck, but it was just a bassoon behind me.
by Booooooooooob October 27, 2007
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Some shitty rapper on YouTube and SoundCloud. Born in a subway and risen by a family of feral bassoons, he emerged to the world when the time was right as the one true king of subway. Will his tyranny over milk duds ever come to an end? Is it true he is the only Shulk main in this universe???? Holds a tyrannical reign over not just milk duds and subway, but also over what was once the great Lukas's domain until his power died when his content ceased. tremble in fear as this shitty rapper bassoons your bitch right in front of you right in the vegan.

(Needs to make internet idiocracy consistently)

He exists check SN network on YouTube screw off site moderators
guy 1 "Shit there is that vegan bassoon, hide your children , hide your girl, and you subway alike he comes again."

guy 2 "no corner of soundcloud or YouTube is safe. run while you still can"

guy 3 " vegan bassoon are the sole cause of subway disabilities in our children"
by MFoxManVA October 23, 2017
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One of the brave people who decided that playing an instrument,that looks like a tree trunk and sounds like a duck, would be a good idea.
However they also happen to be the funniest, and most crazy people you'll meet. Also they are pretty weird... Just saying.
Hey look over there at that bassoon player, why aren't they playing?

Oh, I see its because they are going around the room with their reeds quacking at people.
by Ba-soon-you-will-see February 21, 2016
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