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bassoon player 

Gods blessed section of humankind graced with the knowledge of the bassoon. Tend to be clueless and nutty, but ingenious people. Fellow band kids will often warn others not to mention music around them, as they will either complain about their lack of solos, the fact that they are the backbone of the band, that the one time there's more than one bassoon part and they don't get first, and their plan to overthrow first chair and secretly find a way to have influence over all band directors and student leadership.
That bassoon player is enjoying his 2 measure solo WAY too much.

That first chair bassoon player is pretty weird and sometimes psychotic.
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bassoon player 

One of the brave people who decided that playing an instrument,that looks like a tree trunk and sounds like a duck, would be a good idea.
However they also happen to be the funniest, and most crazy people you'll meet. Also they are pretty weird... Just saying.
Hey look over there at that bassoon player, why aren't they playing?

Oh, I see its because they are going around the room with their reeds quacking at people.