Top definition
Particularly useful piece of English punctuation for making yourself look stupid. You can do this in three main ways:
1. Putting an apostrophe in when it's completely unnecessary.
2. Leaving it out when it's needed.
3. Putting it in the wrong place.
1. My parent's have taken control of my life.
2. Mat was Daisys hero, til he started ignoring her.
3. I do'nt know how to use an apostrophe.
by NH3 November 18, 2007
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2
Not a piece of urban slang at all, but an important punctuation mark in written English, which I pride myself on knowing how to use correctly.
However, in my definition for Stoke-on-Trent, I have noticed that I made an error and put one in where it didn't belong (story of my life...).
Therefore, I'm putting this in to make myself feel better.
Wow, what a waste of your time if you read all that! Sorry!
It's only correct to put an apostrophe in "it's" if it's "it is", if not, it's "its".
by Stooo March 21, 2003
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3
The most overused and underappreciated punctuation mark utilized in the writing of the English language. It is used to indicate the omission of a letter (elision) or letters in a word, to connect words pronounced successively (contraction), or to indicate possession.
Alternatively, and much less contemporary, is the use of the term "apostrophe" to indicate a short address by a character in a play or poem to an absent party or an inanimate object. The apostrophe in this sense allows the audience a look into the speaker's thoughts toward a person or object that cannot respond (similar to a soliloquy).
-contraction-
Correct: It's movie night.
Incorrect: Its movie night.

Incorrect: Of it's own free will.
Correct: Of its own free will.

He's not the type to say "Don't do it."

-elision-
Ned is a ne'er-do-well.

"O'er the fruited plain..."

-possession-
That is Jack's grammar book.
Jesus' life lasted 33 years.

-in a literary sense...-
Rhodora! if the sages ask thee why
This charm is wasted on the earth and sky,
Tell them, dear, that if eyes were made for seeing,
Then Beauty is its own excuse for being:
Why thou wert there, O rival of the rose!
I never thought to ask, I never knew:
But, in my simple ignorance, suppose
The self-same Power that brought me there brought you.
by Emerson (1839)
by Brain November 22, 2004
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4
A punctuation mark often erroneously used to indicate "Beware of oncoming S!" as in "Apple's 3 for $2."
Mo Viele speculates on the origin of apostrophe abuse at her blog "fontidious":

the apostrophic epidemic

I often wonder who patient zero was.

I imagine that some lowly shopkeeper went out to paint “Bananas $3” on his sign, and was stricken with an uncontrollable urge to add an apostrophe. And soon his banana was the proud owner of $3. Not to be outdone, his rival down the street advertised “Banana’s 2 Dollar’s.” Then someone from the town full of affluent bananas went on a trip, carrying the contagion with him. “Train’s Departing Every 5 Minute’s.”

The pandemic had begun.
by Grinning Cat April 06, 2015
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5
The highly unlikely, yet considerably dangerous state in which both the apocalypse, and a catastrophe, are simultaniously occuring.
Nigel: "oh shit... it's a zombie apocalypse, and a nuclear catastrophe! It's a nuclear zombie apostrophe!"
by nj412 December 11, 2010
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6
A punctuation mark that stooges, idiots, morons, dorks, and ignorant people put in front of the letter "s" with amazing inconsistency.
The sign outside the fruit stand said "Grape's, Apple's, and Peache's."

Butch puts an apostrophe before every final "s" in a sentence. He writes "Mr's. Hennessey say's we should alway's warsh our hand's after we come in from reces's. Especially after you take a pis's.
by Cap'n Bullmoose September 24, 2007
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7
a rather fine song, from a rather fine album of the same name, by Frank Zappa- Jack Bruce played bass on much of it...
by Maiga October 10, 2007
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