Top Definition
A scam used by the wealthy to rip off the working class.
The market dropped so much that all last years contributions to my 401k have been wiped out. I'll bet the clowns that managed it made sure their big money clients didn't lose anything.
by wjc July 11, 2008
Someone who is legally too young to date, so an older, interested individual must invest time and effort into a platonic relationship until such time they can reap the forbidden benefits legally.
"Yes! I've been friends with this girl for a year and it's finally her 18th birthday. Time to cash in my 401k!"
by Capybarrra November 13, 2011
A girl or guy that you could see yourself marrying in the future, but currently want to remain friends. You invest time and conversation occasionally in this person because you know the payout in the future will be worth it.
Bro 1 -"Hey bro, are you going to date Molly?"

Bro 2 -"No, right now shes just my 401K."
Bro 1 -"What does that mean?"
Bro 2 -"Right now isn't the right time to date her, but I see myself marrying her when I retire from these hoes and my current lifestyle."
by teejstroyer27 April 26, 2015
What you know longer have because of the economy.
Bob "Hey Jim do u still have a 401 K?"
Jim "No..."
Bob "Me neither..."
by hhHhhhhHkkksssS August 18, 2010
A stimulus package of 401 Kilograms of Columbia's finest, sold to America's top wealthiest 2%. Only the fattest of fat cats will be able to afford the proceeds of this package to finance the retirement of the individuals involved in selling these packages.
Guy #1: I'm on easy street now, I got myself a 401(k).
Guy #2: Are you sure?
Guy #1: Yeah I got me 401 Kilo's of Columbia's finest.
Guy #2: Where can I get one of those?
Guy #1: Definitely not on Wall Street.
Guy #2: Where then?
Guy #1: I know a guy down in Miami who can hook you up.
Guy #2: Sweet.
by Great White Unicorn May 31, 2009

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