A bunch of repressive, middle to upper-class bitches. They always live in those Suburban neighborhoods, they are almost always a conservative republican, or conservative democrat. Soccer Moms are the reason for all of the useless censorship rules. They are snotty, rude, arrogant, and bitchy. They usually drive huge-ass SUVS, which they load their "precious, adorable, awesome, and better than everyone else" brat kids into every weekday for some kind of sport. A soccer-mom basically lives through her kids, she has them out doing all of the things she wanted to do as a kid. Her husband is never home, because his wife is such a repressive bitch, and won't have sex with him because she's afraid the kids will here them. Thus, he screws his secretary. A Soccer Mom will not allow her kids to watch any movies over the rating PG. She usually is involved with PTA meetings, and does snack days, is selective with who her kids can be around, and who they can't.
Soccer Moms fail.
by greenpeas August 19, 2009
A 30 to 50 year old woman, usually straight, whose whole life revolves around their children and "empowering" themselves by trying to censor anything even remotely violent, vulgar, or bad in any way. Some have tattoos just to show how tough and empowered they are.
Their children are usually maladjusted due to their parents not letting them see anything remotely "bad" or vulgar, even when they are teenagers.
As implied by the name, their children play sports, usually soccer. Soccer moms can be identified by a generic sticker on the back of their car, or a "My child is an honor student at <insert school> Middle School" bumper sticker.
They also drive SUVs even though they do not need them, and cause many accidents. They are very active in their children's school activities.
Their children are usually maladjusted due to their parents not letting them see anything remotely "bad" or vulgar, even when they are teenagers.
As implied by the name, their children play sports, usually soccer. Soccer moms can be identified by a generic sticker on the back of their car, or a "My child is an honor student at <insert school> Middle School" bumper sticker.
They also drive SUVs even though they do not need them, and cause many accidents. They are very active in their children's school activities.
by Luigi30 November 4, 2004
Contrary to Definition 44, a Soccer Mom is not a selfless, sainted holy person providing for her angelic children. She is usually white, 30-45 years of age, and is forever boring everyone around her with stories about her kids soccer skills. The cell phone, starbucks coffee and large minivan/suv are invariably part of her identity. Also she is consumerist, wasteful, oblivious to her effect on others, lives in a bland suburb and is usually a right wing Christian fanatic. Has no career aspirations. Bitch. A waste of ammunition
The brainless soccer mom drove 80 in the 30 zone while taling on her phone and driving her kids to soccer.
by Andrew5646465 October 27, 2005
Beasts from hell. They will try to censor anything. Responsible for Columbine and Sadamm ever being the dictator of Iraq. Drive large things known as minivans, which are usually larger than normal vans. Take their kids to soccer games and cheer them on all the time, even when their kid sucks more balls than a 3 cent chinese whore. Their minivans are sized between that of an M2A3 Bradley and M1A2 Abrams Main Battle Tank.
Sergeant Ha was in his M2A3 when he saw a soccer mom who was late for getting to see her kid's soccer game rushing towards his tank. He quickly fired off a missile, destroying the monstrosity and her personnel carrier. What's that? What about her family? No problems, just fire a missile or 654 at their house.
by that guy that kicks ass February 17, 2005
A woman who refuses to believe that anything that is not white christian middle-upper class is evil. Political correctness and purification of youth is the prime goal of this group. These "dress and act like we are 20 even though we all know we are double that age" sufferers are often found destroying the sacred enviornment in their oversized SUV's driving in an unsafe fashion, often times with cell phones in one hand and a Starbucks coffee in the other.
by Mike Truitt June 11, 2003
A middle-aged upper middle class woman (ussually white)and lives in the suburbs who devotes her life to her childeren. She carpools, drives them to soccer and little leauge, volenteers at their school, does snack days, and play dates. Most of them end up driving their childeren away by not letting them express their selves and immediatley putting down anything that they find important. They are usually Christian and this can be shown around their house, in most of the cases I have found the childeren end up being atheist. They drive in their mini vans and suburbans with their fancy coffee's and cell phones.
That mom that is driving like a maniac to pick up her kid from school and cart them to soccer practice is a soccer mom.
by Kaitlin August 30, 2003
A suburban stay at home cumdumpster who thinks that her opinions count for anything. Usually seen driving an overpriced SUV, talking on her cell phone, and yelling at her kids for stepping on the Macy's bags-all at the same time. Have a tendency to smugly advertise, with bumper stickers, basically everything. Are known for lobbying for tougher alcohol regulations, gun laws, and censorship. Just another good reason to make the laws about homicide more lenient.
"Holy shit! Some soccer mom in her Escalade nearly ran me off the road because she was talking on her cell phone instead of paying attention to the road.
by herrsquidward October 6, 2007