by Elvo June 19, 2007
To jerk off, to jack off, to whack off, to beat off, to crank on out, to thrash, to choke the (Chinese) chicken, to pinch the one-eyed snake, to slap the salami, to spank the dolphin, to flog the dolphin, to pull the pork, to polish one's gun, to shine the silver, to beat the bishop, to smack little johnny behind his German helmet and purple bulbous ear, to do the five knuckle shuffle, to make love with oneself, to beat around the bush, to flick the sausage, to punch the purple ninja, to juice the snake, to peel the banana, to milk the cow, to squeeze the purple-headed yogurt-slinger, to slap the monkey, to tame the dragon, to play pocket pool, to go bowling by oneself, to hit a homerun in the homefield, and yet, to strike out, to whittle the woodblock, to shimmy up and down the pole of love, to initiate the Saturn V, to turn on the sprinklers, to turn on one's love hose, to punch the clown in the nose, to tweek the deek, to hit the dick, to tallywhack, to soil the Kleenex, to smother the hanky, and I'm sure I'm forgetting a few.
by Master Chesco April 19, 2004
Substitute pornography used by religious people, for instance the section of the Sunday newspaper advertising section that contains ads for bras and panties, or the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition.
by Gatorpress November 13, 2007
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To have sexual intercourse alone. Males usually look at porn while doing this. Take 1 hand put it on the shaft of the penis. rub it up and down until it gets at its full potential. slowly increase your speed until you cant stop. it feels so good and no worries about pregnancy im pretty sure everyone does it sometime during every day.(i know i do)after beating it for a minute or a few you will reach the climax and ejaculate all over. the more you do it the farther you will shoot :D then your penis head becomes very sensative after you shot. Then you quickly turn off your porn, put your clothes back on and act like nothing happened. girls on the other hand take more time to do this. they mostly do it when they are away from people for a long enough time. You sit down usually on a comfortable chair or couch and then u stick your middle finger inside your vagina. Or you can take a few fingers and rub the clitoris (most sensative spot) some girls like to get ready for men in their life or just dont want to risk anything so they use a dildo(a plastic penis)Girls can either bend over and give anal masturbation which feels good or stick it the vagina slowly and deep. the girl will have an orgasm and if goes long enough will also jizz (lots more)girls after masturbation feel worn out and will most likely relax for a few minutes maybe rubbing boobs or clit very slowly.
A:I was masturbating beforee i went to bed last night.
B:Me too.
A:Yeah, Who dosn't.
A:I masturbate every time i get 20 minutes alone.
B:I do it with my sister watching.
A:Girl)Yesterday I masturbated for 40 minutes and i stained my couch
B:Boy)Yeah, i was watching through your window.
A:Girl)Wanna come over tonight and masturbate with me?
B:Girl)Yeah, ill bring my dildo.
A:Girl)Aww Yea! Aawwww awww! yea ! ye!
B:Girl)OH yeah u like that? U want it deeper
A:Girl Aww awww!! (orgasm)
B:Me too.
A:Yeah, Who dosn't.
A:I masturbate every time i get 20 minutes alone.
B:I do it with my sister watching.
A:Girl)Yesterday I masturbated for 40 minutes and i stained my couch
B:Boy)Yeah, i was watching through your window.
A:Girl)Wanna come over tonight and masturbate with me?
B:Girl)Yeah, ill bring my dildo.
A:Girl)Aww Yea! Aawwww awww! yea ! ye!
B:Girl)OH yeah u like that? U want it deeper
A:Girl Aww awww!! (orgasm)
by ibeatoff3timesaday November 26, 2006
To please oneself while arousing sexual feelings, usually by rubbing, touching, and inserting one's fingers or other device in themselves in the case of a female. Usually accompanied by some sort of visual, audio, or mental help
Masturbation: Alex didn't feel like dry humping the bed post again, so he decided to masturbate to a home video of he and his ex making sweet love on the kitchen counter surrounded by empty vodka bottles and her lacy panties covering his eyes.
by Sexy Stripper Queen March 7, 2017
by erotica69 September 16, 2005