Wicked evil people who show up on your doorstep at 3 in the morning and ask stupid questions such as (Note: the proper responses are listed below questions):
1. Have you found Jesus?
PR: Why NO. Why don't you come in and help me look for him? Sumbitch must be around here somewhere!
2. Would you like a copy of Watchtower?
PR: Thank you sir/madam. I needed some more kindling. (take publication, walk over to fireplace, and throw it in).
3. Would you like to donate to our ministry here in (insert town here)?
PR: I would but I am opposed to A. Panhandling B. Government Controlled Religious freaks.
1. Have you found Jesus?
PR: Why NO. Why don't you come in and help me look for him? Sumbitch must be around here somewhere!
2. Would you like a copy of Watchtower?
PR: Thank you sir/madam. I needed some more kindling. (take publication, walk over to fireplace, and throw it in).
3. Would you like to donate to our ministry here in (insert town here)?
PR: I would but I am opposed to A. Panhandling B. Government Controlled Religious freaks.
Man them damned Jehovah's Witnesses came knockin again this morning.
What'd you do bro?
Answered the door naked.
What'd you do bro?
Answered the door naked.
by Unholy Jester121 September 5, 2009
A religious sect of Christianity, now deemed a cult, that spreads itself to as many people as possible. Claiming the end of the world is nearing, they say it is their duty to preach to all to save them. Only Jehovah's Witnesses will survive the end. Though they may seem peaceful, nice and loving, "hardcore" Jehovah's Witnesses are infact nearly terrorist, violent, hateful, racist and overall, disgusting people. They spread anti-semitism, believe in hating the United States, Israel, the United Nations and homosexuals. They previously have been on 20/20 for sexual molestation charges within the church. They are one step lower than terrorist extremeists and preach many falsehoods that they cannot backup. The horrors do not stop there, as charges of molstation and racism are only the beginning. Along with those come, trespassing, assault, harassment, battery, terrorism, manslaughter and hate crimes. They believe in not accepting vital medical help such as organ transplants and blood transfusions and if a JW parent's child is critically injured and needs such a medical treatment, the religion prohibits it. The child, even if could be saved and fully recover, is told they must die.
I got visited by Jehovahs Witnesses today, they tried blocking me from shutting the door on them.
Those damn Jehovah's Witnesses keep harassing me every weekend.
Quick! Shut the door and lock it, the Jehovahs Witnesses are coming. Call the police!
Those damn Jehovah's Witnesses keep harassing me every weekend.
Quick! Shut the door and lock it, the Jehovahs Witnesses are coming. Call the police!
by Liberation May 22, 2007
Crazy fools who suck all the joy from life and will try to sneak in under the radar and do the same to you.
Me: Hey, can I have a random wheel barrel of fruit and vegetables too?
JW:No! You're Methodist and an impure demon!
JW:No! You're Methodist and an impure demon!
by Kruger January 1, 2005
The only faith that adheres to bible truths and tries their best to live the way Jesus Christ taught them. Jesus regularly went door to door, teaching others about God and making disciples, baptizing them. JWs also are the only faith to regularly use God's name, which is a command in the bible. Some of you people really need to do some research before you post in here. For example, rule numer one:
"1. Write for a large audience. The whole world's going to read your definition. Give background information so they understand your entry."
"1. Write for a large audience. The whole world's going to read your definition. Give background information so they understand your entry."
Why don't you people try reading the bible once in a while? You might learn something. Oh, the early members of the religion NEVER conspired with Hitler against the Jews. Who came up with that lie? Jehovah's Witnesses were persecuted and put in concentrations camps along with the Jews, even killed in the gas chambers.
Good Grief!!! Blood transfusions? How many people do YOU know contracted AIDS from tainted blood? Remember the pope??? Chagas Disease??? The bible is very clear on Gods view of the sanctity of blood. "Abstain from blood..." Please look up the word "abstain."
Those who are scorned and put out of the congregation have a lifetime of chances to return. Most who don't just don't want to live their lives morally and in accord with bible principles. It's their loss. Remember, when the catholics excommunicate, it's for life.
Good Grief!!! Blood transfusions? How many people do YOU know contracted AIDS from tainted blood? Remember the pope??? Chagas Disease??? The bible is very clear on Gods view of the sanctity of blood. "Abstain from blood..." Please look up the word "abstain."
Those who are scorned and put out of the congregation have a lifetime of chances to return. Most who don't just don't want to live their lives morally and in accord with bible principles. It's their loss. Remember, when the catholics excommunicate, it's for life.
by MommyMe March 3, 2006
Jehovah's Witnesses are irritating god botherers
Jehovah's Witnesses: god! god! listen to me god! oi god!
god: oh piss off and help an old lady across the road or something!
god: oh piss off and help an old lady across the road or something!
by sniper_productions December 3, 2005
A religion with over 8 million members all over the world. They come from hundreds of ethnic and language backgrounds, yet are united by common goals. Above all, they want to honor Jehovah, the God of the Bible and the Creator of all things. They do their best to imitate Jesus Christ and are proud to be called Christians. Each of them regularly spend time helping people learn about the Bible and God’s Kingdom. Because they witness, or talk, about Jehovah God and his Kingdom, they are known as Jehovah’s Witnesses.
They are one of the few religions to go door to door in order to preach. Despite common misconceptions, they are not a cult, and do not force anyone to join their religion. They are honest, respectful, peaceful people.
They have an official website: jw.org. Any other website not linked to on the official site cannot be considered a valid source of information regarding Jehovah's Witnesses, as they tend to have biased opinions disguised as facts about JWs.
They are one of the few religions to go door to door in order to preach. Despite common misconceptions, they are not a cult, and do not force anyone to join their religion. They are honest, respectful, peaceful people.
They have an official website: jw.org. Any other website not linked to on the official site cannot be considered a valid source of information regarding Jehovah's Witnesses, as they tend to have biased opinions disguised as facts about JWs.
by Kensurou May 7, 2017
A Christian religion often called a cult. They are well known for their frequent missionary visits, wherein they knock on your door, armed with pamphlets and magazines. They should not be confused with Mormon missionaries; a distinct difference is that Jehovah's Witnesses will try to tell you that your religion is wrong using their analytical facts.
JW Missionary: So what religion do you belong to?
Me: I'm a Mormon.
JW Missionary: Well, your Book of Mormon contradicts the Bible!
Me: How so?
JW Missionary: Well, we don't have any of them with us right now...
Me: I'm a Mormon.
JW Missionary: Well, your Book of Mormon contradicts the Bible!
Me: How so?
JW Missionary: Well, we don't have any of them with us right now...
by Deoxyribose July 16, 2005