The most widely used excuse given for absence from school/work. One's inability to see one's ass coming in today.
Mr. Taylor, It's Chip. I'm afraid I won't be able to make it into the office today. I have rectal myopia.
by Chipwich74 December 09, 2012
Get the Rectal Myopiamug. A competition of masculine will, where two men align their buttholes against one another, and the first one to shit wins the match.
Bryan wanted to prove he was manlier than Steve, so Bryan challenged Steve to a game of rectal jousting. Bryan shit first, and won the battle, proving his masculinity was far greater than pansy-assed Steve.
by AmazingAnus January 23, 2017
Get the rectal joustingmug. An act where a man or woman takes a massive shit that stretches their butthole, then gets ass fucked directly after leaving you sore and unable to walk.
by bordman24 September 12, 2010
Get the Rectal Riotmug. The unwelcomed surprise, splash-back anal entry of liquid produced by the forceful impact of well-formed stool with toilet bowl water.
I feel so unclean. Yesterday's burritos, poor planning, a gas-station restroom and a rectal gulp. Next time, I'll just shit in the parking lot.
by YAWA August 08, 2018
Get the Rectal gulpmug. I ran to the shitter and blew major ass all over because of the rectal rockets from an hour earlier.
by Scud September 12, 2003
Get the rectal rocketmug. n. A rectal blockage is a large mass of dry, hard stool that can develop in the rectum due to chronic constipation. This mass may be so hard that it cannot come out of the body. Watery stool from higher in the bowel may move around the mass and leak out, causing soiling or diarrhea.
I had a rectal blockage for a week and finally had to seek professional help to have it removed. No more cheese for me!
by Resedo August 12, 2009
Get the rectal blockagemug. by iainL January 17, 2008
Get the rectal warlordmug.