morning wood

a thing that i get when i wake up then, after wiping the sand crusties out of my eyes i chop my morning wood if you know what i mean

man my morning wood was so big i choped that wood till i photosynthisied all over my bed

by volcomeskater555 September 9, 2009

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morning wood

morning wood is the raging boner a guy has when he wakes up -- he HAS to jack off!

Oh fuck! I've got morning wood! Got to rub one out - hope I don't miss the school-bus!

by USAF Cadet October 12, 2020

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morning wood

When you wake up in the morning and you find a plank of wood with eyes and a mouth in your bed.

When you wake up in the morning,
What's the first thing that you see,
it's your MORNING WOOD!
MORNING WOOD!

Look around your neighborhood!
Everybody has...
MORNING WOOD!
MORNING WOOD!

by Tristana December 12, 2012

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morning wood

the thing that you'll miss the most when you will become old

Suresh: Damn! I got a morning wood of biblical proportions today. It was aching & I had to remove my undies.

Ramesh: Well, having morning wood is a sign of youth. You're gonna cherish these woody memories a lot when your hair will become all white.

by spunkTanker April 28, 2011

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Morning Wood

When a guy wakes up to a hard dick after a long night of sex

Lydia : Good morning Chad last night was amazing thanks for letting me sleep in your bed! (wink)
Chad : No problem sis my wife don't mind sleeping on the couch!
Lydia : Mmm! Looks like you got some Morning Wood!
Chad : Yeah I guess I do we should not waste it!
Lydia : Does Chad want a blowjob?
Chad : Uh Yeah DUH!
Lydia : Mmmm! Mmmm! Mmmm! Mmmm!
Chad : Damn Lydia you sure know how to suck! Ahhhh! Ahhhh!
Chad's Mom : Hey Chad time for breakfast OH MY GOD NOT AGAIN!
Chad : Get lost bitch Lydia is taking care of my Morning Wood!
Chad : Mmm! Now time for some sasuage in your ass!
Lydia : Mmm! Breakfast in bed!
Chad : Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhh!
Lydia : Oink! Oink! Oink! Oink! Snort! Snort! Snort!
Chad's Mom : OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! (sniff) (sniff)
Chad's Dad : Honey do I hear pig's OH MY GOD NOT AGAIN! (sniff) (sniff)
Steve : Hey guy's check it out ive got Morning Wood! (wink)
Chad's Mom : O Wow it's so BIG!

Chad's Dad : Damn't Honey quit staring at that guy's Wood!

by SlopNChop December 3, 2018

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