Asset Protection

the protection of the backside of miniature donkeys, elephants and mongoose.

Could someone please call Asset Protection to deal with the artard in the lobby?

by Anniew March 18, 2008

citigroup asset management

A place I long to be. The people are great & everyone is nice.

"I love my job".
"Oh you must mean Citigroup Asset Management"

by yo yo mon bitoch March 31, 2005

Ditch the Ass, Sieze the Assets

A womens plan when divorcing a man. Usually a man who had it coming.

You: Hows your husband?

Friend: Oh that jackass? I'm divorcing him.

You: Yea ditch the ass, sieze the assets.

by doubletrouble22 September 25, 2009

asset

The euphemism for "penis", as in "your asset turns on (erects) as you wake up in the morning"

When I saw the image of my girl friend wearing school uniform, I felt my asset turning on in the ways I didn’t expect!

by Emotional Cruiser December 8, 2025

Russian asset

Anyone that disagrees with the narrative of the Democratic Party

Person 1: I'm leaving the Democratic Party. They no longer represent my values

Person 2: Wow. You are such a traitor and a Russian asset!

by ReaperMan26 October 11, 2022

Downreaching Capital Asset

Dick; or penis.

Richard Johnson has a substantial downreaching capital asset which he intends to extend into emerging cock markets.

by RichardPoenisWeiner September 22, 2022

Asset

Oh wow yeah, totally... Women are a TOTAL asset. They clean up your house for you? That helps a lot. That OR! OR they let you fuck them on camera and then THAT helps EVEN MORE. Because THEN I have 200 million dollars and I'll just be doing the thing I WOULD HAVE BEEN DOING ANYWAY. It's like being a pro gamer! Or a streamer! Or a podcaster.

Fatcock "Wait... You mean I can cut out the middle-man and get paid to TALK about fucking all of the women? Shit bro, sign me up. You see, I got this mindset dawg... And it's like... Bro... You gotta get some assests. Right? And you can't SPELL asset without 'ass'? Right? You see. I got this way of talking to em, right? I thought it up with my thinky thoughts, bro."

Hym 😒 "Oh? Yeah? Do you talk to them AS THOUGH... you ALREADY KNOW... YOU... Are GOING to fuck them?"

Fatcock "Uh-er, Wha-"

Hym "Like you KNOW they are going to do the thing that they ARE GOING TO DO... and there aren't any REAL, LASTING consequences to your interaction (negative or positive) because when I say 'THEY are going to fuck you' I don't mean 'THEY' at an individual level but 'THEY' as an abstraction and in aggregate. Like, YOU KNOW you're going to fuck 'them'."

Fatcock "Yeah, buuuuuut 😌☝️ I deserve it... Cus of the mindset. And then I make a bunch of sluts.... But, wait, my FRESH SLUT... SHE doesn't COUNT as a slut. Right? So you gotta respect her becuase she's the good one and, um, I'm also the good one."

Hym 🤨 "Because of the mindset?" 🤨

by Hym Iam March 27, 2023