Shite American "sport" for fat people to play and watch.
Physical fitness is not required as play stops every minute for a 5 minute break when the coaches play a basterdised version of physical chess. Not to mention the fact that the entire team gets changed round several times a game. Why? Because one player is to stupid to be able to know how to both attack AND defend!
Players wear pads and helmets because they are too feckin dumb to learn how to tackle properly (like in Rugby). Padding is like giveing a swimmer a boat.
I couldn't give a shit who or how big Ray Lewis is. If he took all that gay padding off and came across Jona Lomu or any of the New Zealand rugby squad he would know what a tackle is. The bigger they are the harder they fall. And if everyone keeps quoting his name because he's huge at 250lbs that's about the MINIMUM weight for an international rugby forward.
How many "football" players actually look like they've been in a game? They're all pretty boys who don't know what a good studing or stamping on feels like. They should be put at the bottom of rook to see what it feels like without padding.
To summarise - shit, slow, lazy game (sport is too generous a word) played by fat, unfit people and supported by self obssessed, ignorant, xenophobic yanks who believe that because it is their sport it is the best in the world and their players are the biggest and strongest.
Physical fitness is not required as play stops every minute for a 5 minute break when the coaches play a basterdised version of physical chess. Not to mention the fact that the entire team gets changed round several times a game. Why? Because one player is to stupid to be able to know how to both attack AND defend!
Players wear pads and helmets because they are too feckin dumb to learn how to tackle properly (like in Rugby). Padding is like giveing a swimmer a boat.
I couldn't give a shit who or how big Ray Lewis is. If he took all that gay padding off and came across Jona Lomu or any of the New Zealand rugby squad he would know what a tackle is. The bigger they are the harder they fall. And if everyone keeps quoting his name because he's huge at 250lbs that's about the MINIMUM weight for an international rugby forward.
How many "football" players actually look like they've been in a game? They're all pretty boys who don't know what a good studing or stamping on feels like. They should be put at the bottom of rook to see what it feels like without padding.
To summarise - shit, slow, lazy game (sport is too generous a word) played by fat, unfit people and supported by self obssessed, ignorant, xenophobic yanks who believe that because it is their sport it is the best in the world and their players are the biggest and strongest.
"Do you wanna go play some sports"
"Nah i'll sit here and drink beer and eat nachos because i'm a fat lazy yank"
"Nah i'll sit here and drink beer and eat nachos because i'm a fat lazy yank"
by Mike March 26, 2005
Pretty much the dumbest idea ever. For one thing, it's not even football! Football is what you idiotic american football players call "soccer"."Soccer" is REAL football! In your retarded football, you don't even use your feet! Unlike in REAL football! For another thing, take an awesome game that isn't for pussies, rugby: no pads, no stopping in between every play, no 5 hour games, and no stupid goal as big as the field itself! Take that awesome sport over seas to america, have some stupid lard-a's that do nothing but sit on their asses all day and watch TV, screw around with it, take REAL football's name cause they can't think of anything else cause they're failures at life, and you get american football: a "sport" for fatties that can't run for more then 15 seconds max.
american football player:You're a pussy.
ME:I play soccer and alley rugby, and your calling me the pussy! You're the pussy for playing american football. At least I can run for 90 min.'s straight without stopping every 2-15 seconds. And, all I wear pad-wise are tiny little shin guards, not a full body suit of new-age armor.
american football player:Football's a man's sport!
ME:My point exactly! You're all homosexuals! Just look at the way you touch each other!
american football player:We're not touching each other, we're hitting each other!
ME:Can you even feel that through those hundred-pound pads you're wearing. Plus, what is the point of the butt-protecters, just to make it harder for you're gay colleagues to get to it? I sure hope you guys are wearing condoms in those so called "dog piles". It would be horrible if a whole team died of AIDS, on second thought, do what ever you want.
american football player:well...ummm...well.......
ME:Oh, I'm sorry is your mouth guard in?
american football player:you....uhhhhh....you.......
ME:Yeah, that's what I thought.
ME:PEACE! Baby Gap.
ME:I play soccer and alley rugby, and your calling me the pussy! You're the pussy for playing american football. At least I can run for 90 min.'s straight without stopping every 2-15 seconds. And, all I wear pad-wise are tiny little shin guards, not a full body suit of new-age armor.
american football player:Football's a man's sport!
ME:My point exactly! You're all homosexuals! Just look at the way you touch each other!
american football player:We're not touching each other, we're hitting each other!
ME:Can you even feel that through those hundred-pound pads you're wearing. Plus, what is the point of the butt-protecters, just to make it harder for you're gay colleagues to get to it? I sure hope you guys are wearing condoms in those so called "dog piles". It would be horrible if a whole team died of AIDS, on second thought, do what ever you want.
american football player:well...ummm...well.......
ME:Oh, I'm sorry is your mouth guard in?
american football player:you....uhhhhh....you.......
ME:Yeah, that's what I thought.
ME:PEACE! Baby Gap.
by kellysucksbutirideitanyways February 12, 2008
An idiotic, homoerotic sport which looks like a bunch of apes trying to have sex with each other. It was named 'football' by a misinformed redneck who wasn't privy to the fact that the most popular sport in the world already carries that name. It is a result of international espionage because it appears vertually identical to rugby, so there's nothing original there. To enjoy American Football you need an IQ of a beach towel and a steady diet of beer and fried chicken.
by russianbear54 September 12, 2006
The pussy sort where fat and ugly men get a chance to play with balls and touch each other! Also it isn't unknown for football players to get on top of each other!
Fat Guy: Dude, do you play american football?
Cool Guy: No, I'm not gay and i can run for more than 5 seconds.
Cool Guy: No, I'm not gay and i can run for more than 5 seconds.
by soccerguy May 10, 2008
Grown men who think they are cool because they weigh 300 pounds, dressed in tights, jumping on top of each other, trying to get football through two posts.
Person 1: Man, lets watch some American Football!
person 2: No, those are just idiots dressed in tights. Lets watch some soccer instead.
person 2: No, those are just idiots dressed in tights. Lets watch some soccer instead.
by circular orbiting sphere February 7, 2010
a crappy and frankly, mind numbingly boring sport that only fat-shit Americans play because they lack the athleticism and skill of Rugby or Football(soccer).
fans are typical dull witted Neanderthals with beer bellies that dont understand what a proper sport it. fans typically love to brag about "how big and mean Ray Lewis" is but noone buys it. i would love to see Ray Lewis get run the fuck over by Pierre spies of South Africa.
Americans love to give their teams some special patriotic meaning but and to hype up their status such as "world champions" and all but not a single person gives a shit about American Football outside of the US.
fans are typical dull witted Neanderthals with beer bellies that dont understand what a proper sport it. fans typically love to brag about "how big and mean Ray Lewis" is but noone buys it. i would love to see Ray Lewis get run the fuck over by Pierre spies of South Africa.
Americans love to give their teams some special patriotic meaning but and to hype up their status such as "world champions" and all but not a single person gives a shit about American Football outside of the US.
typical American Football Supporter: wow look at this guy! he has been able to run for a whole 10 seconds! AMAZING!
decent human being: the fuck man?
decent human being: the fuck man?
by Springbok lover December 18, 2009
by PUNX April 9, 2005