Joint custody

When you have legal rights to demand a toke of your buddy's spliff

"Hey, I have joint custody over your Mary Jane!"

"Fuck off bro, god damn!"

by SummonerofFaiths July 5, 2020

Custody-by-Cop

The American practice of circumventing due process rights and constitutional guarantees to life and liberty by using typically fake domestic violence claims against a partner to secure children in a stalemate developed by neither party voluntarily willing to move out of a home or use the court process to decide custody issues.

Flummuxed by the reality their child was raised from birth by a stay at home dad, the mother crafted a custody-by-cop plan to call police faking violence towards her which resulted in the father being arrested and prohibited from returning to the home later.

by Hedonist2025 August 20, 2025

custodial-scepter

Toilet brush, mop, or broom. Similar to the ornamented staff carried by royalty; the tool of the custodial trade is symbolic for anyone cleaning up crap others leave behind. Unlike the ornamented staff carried by dignitaries, the custodial scepter is actually useful.

Julia spun her custodial-scepter in a perfect circle scrubbing the resistant residue from the porcelain altar of excretion relief. Her toilet would be clean before company arrived by gosh!

by Jules.Sheehy August 3, 2018

Custody By Default

When you don't actually get custody of your children, however they turn 18 and can do whatever they want anyways.

Lindsey claims she won her custody case however it was custody by default because her daughter turned 18.

by Turd Flusher Magoo July 24, 2023

Full Custody

Full custody is the act of shooting your load onto someone and then grabbing it; maintaining control, so you can rid of the evidence in a one fell swoop before they can do anything to make you pay child support.

"Oh shucks, I just finished on this girl, I better take Full Custody of my load before this crazy woman does something drastic with my unegged children."

by Grossman27 November 8, 2025

joint custody

when 2 ppl pay for a joke

yeah we went to the disco together we got joint custody

by rattimeaf July 20, 2021

Joint Custody

When you know you can't finish a joint on your own, so you share it with a homie.

Kaitlin: "Hey, I want to buy a joint but I get way too blitzed when I smoke by myself "

Tim: "no problem, wanna have joint custody? I'll split it with you!"

by Amy911 October 20, 2017