Custody By Default

When you don't actually get custody of your children, however they turn 18 and can do whatever they want anyways.

Lindsey claims she won her custody case however it was custody by default because her daughter turned 18.

by Turd Flusher Magoo July 24, 2023

joint custody

when 2 ppl pay for a joke

yeah we went to the disco together we got joint custody

by rattimeaf July 20, 2021

Full Custody

Full custody is the act of shooting your load onto someone and then grabbing it; maintaining control, so you can rid of the evidence in a one fell swoop before they can do anything to make you pay child support.

"Oh shucks, I just finished on this girl, I better take Full Custody of my load before this crazy woman does something drastic with my unegged children."

by Grossman27 November 8, 2025

Joint Custody

When you know you can't finish a joint on your own, so you share it with a homie.

Kaitlin: "Hey, I want to buy a joint but I get way too blitzed when I smoke by myself "

Tim: "no problem, wanna have joint custody? I'll split it with you!"

by Amy911 October 20, 2017

custody hangover

When a complicated holiday visitation schedule was agreed upon when you were a child and your parents divorced, and violating it now (years after it has legally expired) would start world war 3 in your family.

"Why don't you and Darren spend Christmas together? You've been dating for 5 years!"
"Oh, I still have a custody hangover."

by firefoxx66 December 15, 2016

Joint custody

When you have legal rights to demand a toke of your buddy's spliff

"Hey, I have joint custody over your Mary Jane!"

"Fuck off bro, god damn!"

by SummonerofFaiths July 5, 2020

Custodial entertainer

The person who spends more time with a child than the actual parents.

"That's my Grandma Linda, she's my custodial entertainer" Lilly said.

by billyboombox June 2, 2016