A phantom shit is a sizeable dump usually laid under cover of darkness in a public place. When stumbled upon in daylight by an unsuspecting individual, hilarity is meant to ensue.
Less frequently referred to as a ghost shit, the phantom shit usually shows up in such places as post boxes, car hoods, children's playgrounds, and any general public place ripe for mischief.
I took my son to the playground on Saturday morning and he slid down the tube slide right into a pile of crap; some fucking punk must have laid down a phantom shit there on Friday night.
by timboooo September 3, 2006
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When one has strived for ages to release a turd, and has felt one has done a big shit, but on inspection there is little or no shite in the pan.
fuck me, i thought id shat a baby but it turned out to be a phantom shit
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Some friends and I tagged the following "The Phantom Shit";
A Phantom shit occurs on a camping trip when one or more indivudual has not deficated in a while. The Phantom shitter is a person who goes into the town and walks into an establishment (restaurant or Chapters book store (White Shit and Will). and does not purchase or attempt to purchase goods or services, but instead heads straight for the lavatory and proceeds to defacate. A true Phantom shit occurs when during this process, the toilet is clogged. The Phantom Shitter leaves the establishment without making eye contact with anybody.
I took a Phantom Shit in the Sydenham Lake diner and clogged that fucker good.
by CarnageCake July 26, 2008
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A shit which leaves behind no trace. When you wipe your arse you find that it's clean, and when you look in the toilet nothing is there. You're left wondering if you actually had a shit.
- I had a shit perfecto this morning. My arse was as clean as a polished sixpence.
- That's nothing. I had a phantom shit perfecto earlier. I didn't even have to flush.

- In heaven, every shit is a shit perfecto.
by greenlectern September 1, 2010
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A person with an ass so big they would need mirrors to back into the stall visits a public/office restroom and defecates the messiest sloppiest nutty dump all over seat and floor. They always manage to slip away without be noticed, despite HOW big they are.
MY god the phantom shit bandit strikes again. My good it is all over the walls too.
by dontbah8tr February 27, 2009
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When you drop a huge log in the toilet, but when you go to wipe there’s nothing there
I washed my hands and everything, it was just a phantom shit
by The shitburgular February 12, 2019
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When you push out a log into the toilet, but when you wipe the paper is completely clean. Hence the phantom
"Wow, that was the cleanest asshole Ive ever had!, it was like it was never there, almost ais was a phantom shit"
by ShakenMcCola October 1, 2017
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