Shortened version of the backstage expression "That looked like a monkey fucking a football" -- i.e. "Oh, wow, that was so godawful awkward and stupid that I had to stare at it." Among stage crew and roadies, a monkey fuck is not just any mistake or accident. It's something that you couldn't possibly avoid that forces you to look really stupid in front of a large audience.
"I hear load-in took a while."
"Oh, shit, they got us carts but they were two inches too wide for the passageway, and they only gave us half a crew because we had carts, and the band just got these new super expensive amps, so we had to hand carry them and not bump or drop them, and then the loading dock door jammed so we were carrying them through the front lobby, four house guys on an amp, all bent over like hunchbacks, with a roadie following us and screaming to be careful, and everyone in line buying tickets laughing at us. It was a total monkey fuck."
"Oh, shit, they got us carts but they were two inches too wide for the passageway, and they only gave us half a crew because we had carts, and the band just got these new super expensive amps, so we had to hand carry them and not bump or drop them, and then the loading dock door jammed so we were carrying them through the front lobby, four house guys on an amp, all bent over like hunchbacks, with a roadie following us and screaming to be careful, and everyone in line buying tickets laughing at us. It was a total monkey fuck."
by old lang guy February 19, 2008
by jon March 30, 2003
by Bigboynate April 27, 2020
Used to describe the resulted state of unwarranted and chaotic messing with someone else's property,always with unfavorable outcome
Person 1- hey bro can I borrow some tools to work on my car?
Person 2- hell nah, the last time you came over here you just monkey fucked my whole garage around
Person 2- hell nah, the last time you came over here you just monkey fucked my whole garage around
by 'Denver's Finest' October 9, 2022
the act of hanging from monkey bars while fucking someones brains out while they themselves are also hanging from monkey bars.
by relisheddjums March 5, 2011
The act by which a man penetrates and trusts into their partner while holding them. The penetrated partner is not in contact with the ground but may be leaned up against a wall
by crapshooter111 January 13, 2007
A person who thinks they can fix something, usually on a car, better or faster than you. The keep running their mouth and getting in your way until you let them try to do the job. When they fuck it up, they get mad and say " Well if you don't want my help, you can do it yourself" then they leave.
It took me twice as long to change the struts on my car because Monkey Fuck had to help, then he bailed out on me with all the parts scattered all over the garage.
by Colt357dog April 26, 2015