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Built like an accident report

(phrase)
Used to roast someone whose body, face, or general vibe looks like a catalog of unfortunate events. Suggests a person is so clumsily assembled or physically chaotic that their entire existence feels like the aftermath of a multi-car pileup, a bio-mechanical malfunction, or some kind of cosmic whoopsie.

It’s not just ugly — it’s structurally confusing, like something went wrong and no one ever fixed it.
“She not ugly, but she built like an accident report — multiple points of failure.”
• “Why his knees face outward like that? Bro built like an accident report.”
• “Face giving ‘incident occurred at approximately 4:17PM.’”
• “That fit plus that walk? Yeah, that’s an OSHA violation. Built like an accident report.”
by Urban zai June 10, 2025
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Creature Report

at the end of an octonauts episode, before the credits, they do a segment where they go over what you've learned already in the episode while showing real photos and or videos of that sea creature. Sometimes these photos are extremely disturbing. The song goes as follows:
Creature Report, Creature Report
(Creature Report!)
Fact:
Something something something check check check
Something something something check check B R E E N
Something some something something something (creature report, creature report)
Something something something (creature report, creature report)
Something something something check check, check!
Something some something, some something some something

Dance break!
...
go something! go something! go something! creature report, creature report! (Creature Report!)
We're done with the missoooooooooooooooon, octonauts at ease. Until the next adventure!
by iminhellplshelpahhh September 6, 2024
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traffic report

the near real-time distribution of information about road conditions ( such as traffic congestion, detours, and collisions. )
While driving to work, I listened to the traffic report.
by ytw February 11, 2017
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Health Report

Please just believe this health report
by Professional Scientists November 27, 2023
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report-face

The appearance of one's face during extended periods of report-writing. Most heavily associated with Microsoft Excel and corporate monomania. Usually resulting in a blank, dead, or befuddled look upon the face.
Hi Shane. Damn, you've got serious report-face going on there.

-Yah, I've had to reclassify my Primary Action Items three times already today. It sucks.
by CCRP October 18, 2008
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Report

Please report racist and nazi- far left propaganda on this site sidenote i'm not joking
Hi i'm El mestizo here to warn you report all of the above when you encounter it!
by elMexicanoAmericano March 15, 2022
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Self Report

A term from Among Us,a popular game made in 2018,which means for an Imposter to kill a Crewmate and report the body right after to pretend they found a body.However,this term has reached outside of Among Us,in the meaning of someone accusing a person of doing/being something,despite the fact that the person accusing the other person also doing/being whatever they are accusing the other person.
In Among Us:
Cyan:I found a body in Navigation

Red:Body was reported too fast after the round started.This is probably a self report.

In other uses:

Commenter 1:(saying something that would imply they're unemployed)

Commenter 2: Holy unemployed🥀

Commenter 3: @Commenter2 Bro self reported😭🚡
by sadbartsimpsonreal October 17, 2025
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