One Of The Main Characters In Stephenie Meyers Book Twilight!!! He Is A Totally Loving Hot Kind Strong Amazing Boy/ Vampire And He Loves Bella Swan The Main Character Of the Book!!! He Has Raised The Standards Girls Have For Boyfriends All Over The World!!!!! He Sparkels In The Sun.... Could It Get Any Better?
Boy:Hey Wanna Go Out?
Girl:Do You Sparkle Like Edward Cullen?
Boy:Who?
Girl:The Vampire From Twilight!!!!
Boy:Oh You Mean That Book Girls Love? Of Course I Don't Its Fictional!!!
Girl:Then I Can't Go Out With You, I Love Edward And Vampires That Sparkle!!!!
Boy:Dam Wish I Sparkled Thats The Tenth Girl To Turn Me Down With That Reason This Month!!!!
Girl:Do You Sparkle Like Edward Cullen?
Boy:Who?
Girl:The Vampire From Twilight!!!!
Boy:Oh You Mean That Book Girls Love? Of Course I Don't Its Fictional!!!
Girl:Then I Can't Go Out With You, I Love Edward And Vampires That Sparkle!!!!
Boy:Dam Wish I Sparkled Thats The Tenth Girl To Turn Me Down With That Reason This Month!!!!
by ILoveEdwardCullen March 14, 2009
I want to fuck the brains out of Edward Cullen
by Thishornyunicorn August 6, 2017
A Vampire who's never had sex in all of his life (which is like over a 100 years). When he does have sex, it's with an anorexic emo whore who's got a Beastiality Fetish with dogs. He knocked her up and know has to change her into a super-fag who can rip his balls off. Yeah, your balls are so in her purse, bro.
He likes his girls 75 pounds and an A Cup Sized boobs, if you can even call those boobs. So, in other words, Edward is a pedophile who decided to bring Elvis's hair back into style.
Her has piss-colored eyes and albino colored skin. His nipples are like a forest that never gets rained on. Unless you call Jasper's jizz rain, then he get's lots of rain.
Stephanie Meyer ruined the name Edward and ruined the whole Vampire idea with her "Humans are Friends, Not Food" crap. Way to go, Steph. You just turned one of the most feared creatures into the next CareBears.
He likes his girls 75 pounds and an A Cup Sized boobs, if you can even call those boobs. So, in other words, Edward is a pedophile who decided to bring Elvis's hair back into style.
Her has piss-colored eyes and albino colored skin. His nipples are like a forest that never gets rained on. Unless you call Jasper's jizz rain, then he get's lots of rain.
Stephanie Meyer ruined the name Edward and ruined the whole Vampire idea with her "Humans are Friends, Not Food" crap. Way to go, Steph. You just turned one of the most feared creatures into the next CareBears.
Edward Cullen: Say it, Say it out loud.
Bella: You're a...Homosexual.
Edward Cullen: No! How did you find ouuut?! *fans himself with his perfectly manicured hand*
Bella: Oh, Edward, it's okay. We can get married and no has to know!
Edward: But...But...
Bella: But what?
Edward: I...*Prances into an open meadow and dances around in the flowers under the sun. He sparkles crazily* I SPARKLE, BELLA. Tee-Hee!
Bella: You're a...Homosexual.
Edward Cullen: No! How did you find ouuut?! *fans himself with his perfectly manicured hand*
Bella: Oh, Edward, it's okay. We can get married and no has to know!
Edward: But...But...
Bella: But what?
Edward: I...*Prances into an open meadow and dances around in the flowers under the sun. He sparkles crazily* I SPARKLE, BELLA. Tee-Hee!
by l3itchesGetStitches June 13, 2011
Hot, sparkling vampire is in love with Bella Swan. Every girl either wants him or hates him because they cannot have him.
by edwardobsesssed November 17, 2009
One of the main characters in Stephanie Meyer's Twilight series. He is one of the vampires, or the "cold ones." He is hundreds of years old but says that he's 17...and has been 17 for a while. He is in love with Bella Swan and she also loves him. Edward can read people's minds, everybody's, except for Bella's. That's one of the main reasons he was first attracted to her. That, and her smell that he describes as, "my own personal brand of heroine." He sparkles in the sunlight, so his family tries to avoid it. Vampires in general drink human blood, but his family is "vegetarian." They survive on animal blood, but once in a while they have the temptation of drinking human blood. But most have learned not to. He is considered "perfect" in the minds of some teenage girls. He's just a character, but that's what teenagers do, they fantasize...and to all the haters: there's nothing wrong with that.
Bella: "I know what you are"
Edward Cullen: "Say it...Out loud!"
Bella: "Vampire..."
Edward Cullen: "Are you afraid?"
Bella: "No..."
Edward Cullen: "Then ask me the most basic question...What do we eat?"
Bella: "You won't hurt me..."
Edward Cullen: Grabs Bella's arm to show her how he sparkles...
Edward Cullen: "Say it...Out loud!"
Bella: "Vampire..."
Edward Cullen: "Are you afraid?"
Bella: "No..."
Edward Cullen: "Then ask me the most basic question...What do we eat?"
Bella: "You won't hurt me..."
Edward Cullen: Grabs Bella's arm to show her how he sparkles...
by Proud Penelope April 23, 2011
is a very annoying vampire, who magically sparkles in the sunlight, is perfect, is very concied, a 108 virgin, how could that possible be atractive to 13 year old girls? but he gives girls orgazms...which is wrong because he really isn't that hot.
by rickiyson December 21, 2008
Edward Cullen is a Mary Sue written for the sole purpose of encouraging girls aged eleven to fifteen to give up hard earned pocket money to Summit Entertainment and Little Brown and Co. He drives the perfect car. He has the perfect hair. He has the perfect face. He has the perfect body. He is also blindingly white and ice cold, which somehow translates out to sexy.
Many adults claim his character makes a positive influence on girls, stating that he encourages reading, and promotes themes like abstinence because he won't have sex with his girlfriend, Bella. However, they neglect to mention that he sneaks into a girl’s room without permission to watch her sleep, breaks down her car so she can’t see her best friend, forces his family to move away without saying goodbye to Bella in order to control her grieving process, and generally acts as a model of a controlling, abusive boyfriend. His behavior is excused, because fans of Twilight, the series he more or less stars in, claim he was doing it all “for Bella’s protection” or “because he loves her.”
Edward is a vampire with barely any of the consequences, and several added perks. When he goes out in sunlight, all he does is sparkle. He isn’t affected by crosses, or holy water. He can have children with humans. He’s super strong and super fast, and he reads minds.
All in all, he's a fictional character who provides girls with the perfect, abusive bad boy.
Many adults claim his character makes a positive influence on girls, stating that he encourages reading, and promotes themes like abstinence because he won't have sex with his girlfriend, Bella. However, they neglect to mention that he sneaks into a girl’s room without permission to watch her sleep, breaks down her car so she can’t see her best friend, forces his family to move away without saying goodbye to Bella in order to control her grieving process, and generally acts as a model of a controlling, abusive boyfriend. His behavior is excused, because fans of Twilight, the series he more or less stars in, claim he was doing it all “for Bella’s protection” or “because he loves her.”
Edward is a vampire with barely any of the consequences, and several added perks. When he goes out in sunlight, all he does is sparkle. He isn’t affected by crosses, or holy water. He can have children with humans. He’s super strong and super fast, and he reads minds.
All in all, he's a fictional character who provides girls with the perfect, abusive bad boy.
Hey, what are all those eleven year old girls shrieking about?
They're discussing Edward Cullen. They'll outgrow guys like him in a few years . . . I hope.
They're discussing Edward Cullen. They'll outgrow guys like him in a few years . . . I hope.
by anti twihard April 10, 2009