The Penis Monkey is a form of masturbation where you get naked and climb a tree, then tie a string to a branch. Then, you tie the other end to your dick and jump off the tree while making Tarzan noises and swinging back and fourth like a monkey.
Oh my god, did you see Richard outside this morning? He did the Penis Monkey in his front yard and was placed under arrest for public nudity!
by Can you burn a Luigi board August 17, 2019
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A monkey Who will steal your penis and force feed you it
Person 1: the penis monkey went into my room last night person 2: how did the penis taste? Person 1: surprisingly good
by Food guy 2 February 4, 2021
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(a) Hard to define, the word stems from the original idea that John Bauman is the one and only important person in the entire world. The word can be used in pretty much any situation for any reason...however, everytime someone uses the word, it does nothing but reflect on the true nature that John Bauman is untouchable.

(b) A hit song by John Bauman.

(c) The penis on a monkey.
John: Mark, what are you doing today?
Mark: I don't know.
John: Clyde's sucks.
Mark: I know. Jackie is a cocktease.
John: The queen. <shaking head>
(pause)
Mark: *cough...cough* PENIS MONKEY.
by Mark April 14, 2005
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The act of competing against others by attempting to successfully perform the "Penis Monkey Surgery" the quickest.
Man 1: "Did you see Tommy's new time on the Penis Monkey Challenge?"

Man 2: "Yes, I believe his time was 1:38!"
by Johnny Asswipe IV March 9, 2021
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someone who is "gay" and loves tiny penises with so much hair, you can not see the penis.
Wow did you see Jack the other day. He is such a Penis Monkey lover.
by Penis's June 21, 2011
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