A hot and humid hell hole that has so many riots that owning a gun isn't a Right, it is a necessity. The name of the state reflects the emotions you will feel while living here, misery.
by A Missourian September 19, 2018
A friendly conservative state that welcomes everyone. After hearing some of the bad things people have said about Missouri I must say. Oregon by far has way more trailers and trailer parks. You dont see as many in Missouri because everyone knows that you cant live in a trailer where there are tornados.
I have lived here for only 5 years and I must say...people here are far more civilized than on the west coast (where I grew up)...in Oregon, Washington, California. Missouri is where you go when you want your family to feel safe and have good moral values. We actually know what "America the land of the free" means because we get to experience it daily. No cops hiding behind bushes to pull you over for going one mile over the speed limit. Yes, out here we only get warnings...and thats if your going 10 miles over the speed limit or more. I would never live on the west coast again if only for the fact that the cops are not NATZI's out here in Missouri like they are out west.
I have lived here for only 5 years and I must say...people here are far more civilized than on the west coast (where I grew up)...in Oregon, Washington, California. Missouri is where you go when you want your family to feel safe and have good moral values. We actually know what "America the land of the free" means because we get to experience it daily. No cops hiding behind bushes to pull you over for going one mile over the speed limit. Yes, out here we only get warnings...and thats if your going 10 miles over the speed limit or more. I would never live on the west coast again if only for the fact that the cops are not NATZI's out here in Missouri like they are out west.
by Missouri anne March 27, 2010
This state is quite beautiful and rich in its scenery. It is covered in oak and cedar trees and has many small bodies of water that you look into and see nothing but the color brown… and maybe the occasional tadpole or naked hillbilly. The human population of Missouri ranges widely in character, all the way from the busy, healthily socialized city-folk to the confused country citizens, who can’t quite decide on their morals and fall somewhere within the category of city-dipped redneck that smokes weed while reading the Bible and wears camouflage shirts with skinny jeans and hand-me-down tennis shoes. If you are an out-of-towner and are passing through, expect to see at least three churches per quarter-mile and potentially a revival going on in the courthouse parking lot. The older Missouri citizens are focused solely on Jesus, the teenagers are way into guns and trucks and losing their virginity between the ages of 13 and 16, and the children like to go hunting with their daddies mount pictures of bloody deer carcasses all over their houses. They could easily be mistaken for their own species of wildlife, in the sense that out-of-town hunters might shoot them because they're so annoying and then tell the authorities, "Woops I thought he was a deer... I mean look at the amount of back hair on him. You would have made the same mistake." And the authorities would believe him. Missouri people are either conservative Christians or sluts on meth. There is NO in between.
Small child: "Mom, how come there is no racial diversity here and why do people ask me what church I go to before they even ask me my name?"
"Mother: "Why Jimmy, we're in Missouri!"
"Mother: "Why Jimmy, we're in Missouri!"
by alvacad0 July 5, 2013
Missouri really is not that bad. The southwest bit is absolutely beautiful in the fall. With the rollings Ozark hills, the leaves look incredible. Plus, there are the gorgeous lakes: Table Rock Lake, Lake Taneycomo, Bull Shoals Lake, and (the notoriously filthy) Lake of the Ozarks. The Lake of the Ozarks is kind of gross (and is not located near Branson, contrary to popular belief), but the rest of Missouri's lakes are clean and beautiful.
The people are great. Sure, some are a little bit red-neckish, but you get rednecks in every state. Take a look at Georgia, Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana, and Mississippi. Aren't one of those states trying to outlaw interracial marriage? Come on, now. People in Missouri are friendly and neighborly.
And as for everyone saying that most of Missouri is illiterate... don't you think that's a bit pompous of you? Missouri has one of the best high schools in the country (Clayton High School) and has numerous other good, prestigious private schools. Not only that, but Mizzou has really great programs.
The people are great. Sure, some are a little bit red-neckish, but you get rednecks in every state. Take a look at Georgia, Alabama, Arkansas, Louisiana, and Mississippi. Aren't one of those states trying to outlaw interracial marriage? Come on, now. People in Missouri are friendly and neighborly.
And as for everyone saying that most of Missouri is illiterate... don't you think that's a bit pompous of you? Missouri has one of the best high schools in the country (Clayton High School) and has numerous other good, prestigious private schools. Not only that, but Mizzou has really great programs.
Boy: Did you hear that Mississippi has the lowest average test scores in the country? Missouri has average test scores when compared the the rest of the country.
by Literate Missourian April 12, 2011
the Black Hole.
come here and see for yourself.
you'll want to leave, but you can't.
stay away. far away.
come here and see for yourself.
you'll want to leave, but you can't.
stay away. far away.
by Elisa Execution November 10, 2008
A great state. People slamming it or bitching about it obviously haven't spent more than 5 hours. I was born and raised in Missouri and it is a great place. Yes, there are rednecks. There are ghetto neighborhoods. But get over it. They are everywhere! A truly beautiful state with a AWESOME baseball team. Better than the crappy Brewers (no offense to you Wisconsin people, I live in Madison and I love it) who haven't even won the WS one time. Unlike us Cardinals who have won eleven times. The northern portion is full of big cities with fun things to do and the Arch, which is a national monument. The southern portion is very scenic and home to the Ozark Mountains. Believe it or not (I suggest believing), we are very friendly people. We like to make people feel at home. And also, just deal with the fact that Missouri isn't really midwest or or southern. Who gives a crap? Try walking into Cali and have a nice time seeing a living Barbie every time you turn a corner!
Fake plastic Barbie girl: Ugh. Missouri sux. There aren't any beaches for me to eff up someone on. Plus, I can't get wasted at bars with total strangers. Oh, and don't even REMIND me about the cops that actually care if you break the law. They suck too.
Down-to-earth Missouri girl: You need to shut up. Missouri is a place where people can live and be safe instead of packing plastic 24/7. Us people are real and we don't care if we have an ass or not. We like to live life and have fun!
Down-to-earth Missouri girl: You need to shut up. Missouri is a place where people can live and be safe instead of packing plastic 24/7. Us people are real and we don't care if we have an ass or not. We like to live life and have fun!
by shardeen November 13, 2011
Missouri is a planet onto its own. It doesn't know if it is midwestern or southern, and nobody from either region really cares about them. Missouri does have many diverse regions.
St. Louis: Has an arch... this was on their state quarter, and on the cover of every tourist pamphlet that highlights the state. You would think that seeing a big arch that is best viewed on the Illinois side of the Mississippi River is the most exciting thing about Missouri, and you would be right.
Kansas City: This city is known for absolutely nothing to the general U.S. population. Yes Kansas City people talk about having jazz and bbq, but other cities have these too. Texas has better bbq and New Orleans has better jazz... I think more people actually associate Utah with Jazz than KC.
Branson-Springfield-Bumblefuck: The G rated version of Las Vegas, it is without everything that makes Vegas awesome. You would probably only have fun there if you are under 6, over 80, or waiting for the rapture.
Jefferson City: This is the capital of MO. There are no interstate highways leading to it (seriously, how does that happen?), and it was just discovered to be a real place in 2004.
The Bootheel: Ever wonder what that geographical oddity is in the southeast corner of the state? Neither did I, but it is called the "bootheel". No need to visit this area, just visit the website “People of Wal-Mart” if you are really curious about what this place is like.
Rest of Missouri: Farms.
St. Louis: Has an arch... this was on their state quarter, and on the cover of every tourist pamphlet that highlights the state. You would think that seeing a big arch that is best viewed on the Illinois side of the Mississippi River is the most exciting thing about Missouri, and you would be right.
Kansas City: This city is known for absolutely nothing to the general U.S. population. Yes Kansas City people talk about having jazz and bbq, but other cities have these too. Texas has better bbq and New Orleans has better jazz... I think more people actually associate Utah with Jazz than KC.
Branson-Springfield-Bumblefuck: The G rated version of Las Vegas, it is without everything that makes Vegas awesome. You would probably only have fun there if you are under 6, over 80, or waiting for the rapture.
Jefferson City: This is the capital of MO. There are no interstate highways leading to it (seriously, how does that happen?), and it was just discovered to be a real place in 2004.
The Bootheel: Ever wonder what that geographical oddity is in the southeast corner of the state? Neither did I, but it is called the "bootheel". No need to visit this area, just visit the website “People of Wal-Mart” if you are really curious about what this place is like.
Rest of Missouri: Farms.
Bill: Hey let's go to Missouri on vacation.
Ted: Where would we go?
Bill: The arch!
Ted: That would take an hour of our time, what else would we do?
Bill: Shit, I dunno... never mind, let's go to Illinois instead.
Ted: Where would we go?
Bill: The arch!
Ted: That would take an hour of our time, what else would we do?
Bill: Shit, I dunno... never mind, let's go to Illinois instead.
by Flick507 May 9, 2011