Popular with the wives of British service men during the early 40s, the Lambeth log-flume was the method of choice for uplifting downtrodden spirits during the Blitzkriegs of London. Just as it was not uncommon for young ladies to experience their first sexual awakening through the vibrations emitted from V-1 doodlebug blasts, desperately pining housewives would routinely proposition the first man they encountered (often a relative) during a Blitz by tying a yellow ribbon around the base of his cock shaft.
Tying of the yellow ribbon was instantly recognised as an invitation to partake in the Lambeth log-flume. Spurred on by the vibrations of nearby explosions, the housewife would subtly coax the man into first defecating between her breasts, before urinating into her mouth until the overspill flowed out onto the freshly burdened muddy boob gully – the chocolate torpedo thus resembling a log-flume, surrounded by the flowing rapids of golden cock rain. This scene is re-enacted several times, limited only by the quota of rations that was had on the day.
Tying of the yellow ribbon was instantly recognised as an invitation to partake in the Lambeth log-flume. Spurred on by the vibrations of nearby explosions, the housewife would subtly coax the man into first defecating between her breasts, before urinating into her mouth until the overspill flowed out onto the freshly burdened muddy boob gully – the chocolate torpedo thus resembling a log-flume, surrounded by the flowing rapids of golden cock rain. This scene is re-enacted several times, limited only by the quota of rations that was had on the day.
Baza: “Hey Jeza, the other night I’s met this bint over round by the bins at back o’ Iceland, and ya never guess what! She only gone tied a fuckin’ green ribbon round the base ‘o me old chapper! I was right in theres, so anyways I went and took a fuckin’ cheese wedge on her baps, but forgot about the lamb jalfrezi I ‘ad that morning, and sprayed me beige cream ass jam all in ‘er face like a right fuckin’ cunt! The bint ain’t returnin’ me calls now, but she minged anyway so I’s ain’t bovered. Haha da fuckin’ cunt!”
Gerald: “Not to be the pedant, mon cher ami, but the proposition made by your fair lady friend was sadly misinterpreted. Your unfortunate attempt at the classic 40’s past-time activity known commonly as the Lambeth log-flume was in err, since the very calling card, i.e. said green ribbon tied around said base of penis, was not the colour of prize-winning canary plumage, but rather that of a freshly mown lawn of grass. Green was the colour, and thus, the calling card was for the Stockwell Shit-hammer. I trust that you will take my wisdom on bored and learn from your mistake, and I bid thee farewell!”
Gerald: “Not to be the pedant, mon cher ami, but the proposition made by your fair lady friend was sadly misinterpreted. Your unfortunate attempt at the classic 40’s past-time activity known commonly as the Lambeth log-flume was in err, since the very calling card, i.e. said green ribbon tied around said base of penis, was not the colour of prize-winning canary plumage, but rather that of a freshly mown lawn of grass. Green was the colour, and thus, the calling card was for the Stockwell Shit-hammer. I trust that you will take my wisdom on bored and learn from your mistake, and I bid thee farewell!”
by Mr Gene Racer April 15, 2009
A fetish act in which a person who is suffering from diarhea poops on the chest of another person. A third person then takes a "regular" dump on the chest. The turd slides down the trails of diarhea and slightly resembles a log flume.
"That girl I slept with last night had some crazy poop fetish. She wanted me to get another guy and have us give her a Colombian Log Flume."
by Sir Chico September 22, 2009
A very exciting technique to liven up any relationship, If things are looking down, suggest this to your partner. The lincoln log flume takes days to prepare, beginning with sorting out your diet to decide how stirdy the log is, which is key! Firstly the male starts the manouver by placing his buttocks above a females chest and squeezing out a nice big turd. When the excretion is complete the lady raises her posture so that the crap is sitting nicely above the chesticles. Then the male will stand above the head and begin to urinate on the womans chest, making the poop down the ladies body, replicating the image of a log flume. If the womans tits arent big enough, get a jacobs cracker and place it below the turd to stop it sliding down prematurely, The crap cracker can be eaten after if your a little bit sick.
The wife asked me to spice up our bedroom antics, i suggested a lincoln log-flume and then the bitch divorced me when she found out what it was!
by MilkmanFromMars May 4, 2009
when having sex, the male is so desperate for a piss he can no longer hold it in and instead of pulling out he wee's in the womans vagina at such force the urine is forced up the womans uterus then to her stomach, this then causes the woman to be violently sick over the male burning his eyes and causing him to throw up all over her ending in a mass of sick.
by sid and flo's mogging co. August 14, 2007
when havin anal sex you pull out pour some Vodka or Sminof on your fireman. Then get her to suck it off then resume anal sex.
John: "Hey man, wanna take shots.? You got plenty of Vodka"
Philip: "Naw man, me and my girl are gonna try that Russian Log Flume".
Philip: "Naw man, me and my girl are gonna try that Russian Log Flume".
by 13222465 January 8, 2011
Urination between a female's breasts, followed by defecation (preferably in log form), which creates a log flume effect.
Last night, Nels gave that bitch a Tallahassee log flume that floated all the way down to her umbilicus.
by Pat2 September 19, 2007
Last night, Stacy gave Tom a Tennessee log flume and he ended up washing his sheets three times to get all the piss and shit out.
by Lyzzy August 6, 2006