fig newton

as defined by Stewie Griffin "It's like an orgy in my mouth"

I ate a fig newton and it was like an orgy in my mouth.

by Ryan Comedic INC October 15, 2006

Fig Newtons

The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.

-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?

-Ya mom! What's there to eat?

-Fig Newtons

-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.

by Barnaby J. August 08, 2008

fig newton

the most addicting cookie ever on the planet earth

I just ate a whole bag of fig newtons

by misaki December 28, 2005

Fig Newtons

A term for marijuana.

Chris: Hey dude, you wanna eat some Fig Newtons later?
Zak: Sure!

by yellowfeather996 November 02, 2009

fig newton

a word often used to refer to black and mild cigars because they taste somewhat of the fig newton cookie

i wish this fig newton would never end

by extenze October 01, 2010

The Fig Newton

Dancing The Fig Newton or doing the Fig Newton refers to the "dance" one does when going through drug withdrawal, namely heroin, or oher opiates. The "dance" is usually done in a bed, with the covers tightly pulled over ones head, and usually includes leg kicking movements, rolling around in bed, and the constant sitting up and lying down again that comes with the uncomfortability of heroin withdrawal. The Fig Newton is traditionally danced in a pool of one's own sweat, and is usually accompanied by the traditional soundtrack of constant moaning, and occasional soft cries and/or whimpers.

I know I haven't seen you guys in a while, but I've been trying to quit this shit, and I spent the last 4 days doing the fig newton in my fucking room.

by Brian Press December 28, 2007

fig newtons

The greatest cookies on the face of the earth, since cookies were put on the face of the earth! It's a good way of getting your little one's into eating fruit too!

Hey Andi, I'm going to Albee Motors to get a new truck. Wanna come? You can bring Ivy Rose I hear she's a good little Peekie}.
Okay Dave, I'll come. I can eat some Fig Newtons in the waiting room and maybe some Twizzlers if some are available.

by Andi January 19, 2006