Top definition
The most godly food in the universe. The greatest cookie thinger ever. It contains the jam of figs and is covered by a chewy cake bread.
Kevin, eat this fig newton because you are stupid.
by BDALE4LIFE September 13, 2005
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2
The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.
-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?

-Ya mom! What's there to eat?

-Fig Newtons

-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.
by Barnaby J. July 15, 2008
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3
I ate a fig newton and it was like an orgy in my mouth.
by Ryan Comedic INC October 15, 2006
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4
Replacement term for the F word referring to homosexuals, does not sting as much when used negatively.
"Quit being a fig newton, I'm trying to watch the stream"
by Fundabz June 06, 2013
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5
the most addicting cookie ever on the planet earth
I just ate a whole bag of fig newtons
by misaki December 14, 2005
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6
A nice way to say faggot with out disrespecting somebody.
Dude you're such a Fig Newton!
by CIZE June 06, 2013
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7
Chris: Hey dude, you wanna eat some Fig Newtons later?
Zak: Sure!
by yellowfeather996 November 01, 2009
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