Standard Definition:
An SUV bitch is a particular group of American females who drive a large luxury or high end foreign SUV.
SUV bitches are hostile, domineering, inconsiderate, rude, and often deadly drivers. They are often seen cutting other drivers off, tailgating motorists, and refusing to let motorists merge onto freeways. These actions often lead to traffic accidents in which an innocent civilian is maimed by an SUV bitch.
Most SUV bitches will only drive luxury or high end crossover SUVs manufactured by Mercedes, BMW, Lexus, Land Rover, Volkswagen, or Infiniti. Studies have show that most SUV bitches have no need drive such a large and expensive SUV; however, scientists are constantly baffled as more SUV bitches appear on America's motorways. It has been theorized that the SUV bitch drives luxury SUVs as a sign of socioeconomic status and social dominance.
Average American motorists need to be cautious around SUV bitches while on the roadway. The SUV bitch often does not focus on the aspect of driving and is primarily concerned with other factors. Factors such as, talking or texting on the cellphone, putting on makeup, or chatting with friends.
Most SUV bitches are white females around the ages of 18 and up. SUV bitches around the age of 18-25 are more likely to cause accidents.
When you see an SUV bitch on the roadway. Follow these safety guidelines provided by the National Transportation and Safety Board.
1. Maintain a distance of at least 4 car lengths away from the SUV bitch.
2. If the SUV bitch trailing behind you closely. Safely pull over and let the SUV bitch drive ahead.
3. When crossing an intersection with no stoplight or sign, remember that SUV bitches always have the right of way.
4. When merging onto a highway be prepared to yield to SUV bitches speeding in the right lane
An SUV bitch is a particular group of American females who drive a large luxury or high end foreign SUV.
SUV bitches are hostile, domineering, inconsiderate, rude, and often deadly drivers. They are often seen cutting other drivers off, tailgating motorists, and refusing to let motorists merge onto freeways. These actions often lead to traffic accidents in which an innocent civilian is maimed by an SUV bitch.
Most SUV bitches will only drive luxury or high end crossover SUVs manufactured by Mercedes, BMW, Lexus, Land Rover, Volkswagen, or Infiniti. Studies have show that most SUV bitches have no need drive such a large and expensive SUV; however, scientists are constantly baffled as more SUV bitches appear on America's motorways. It has been theorized that the SUV bitch drives luxury SUVs as a sign of socioeconomic status and social dominance.
Average American motorists need to be cautious around SUV bitches while on the roadway. The SUV bitch often does not focus on the aspect of driving and is primarily concerned with other factors. Factors such as, talking or texting on the cellphone, putting on makeup, or chatting with friends.
Most SUV bitches are white females around the ages of 18 and up. SUV bitches around the age of 18-25 are more likely to cause accidents.
When you see an SUV bitch on the roadway. Follow these safety guidelines provided by the National Transportation and Safety Board.
1. Maintain a distance of at least 4 car lengths away from the SUV bitch.
2. If the SUV bitch trailing behind you closely. Safely pull over and let the SUV bitch drive ahead.
3. When crossing an intersection with no stoplight or sign, remember that SUV bitches always have the right of way.
4. When merging onto a highway be prepared to yield to SUV bitches speeding in the right lane
Randy: "Craig what the hell happened to you!?"
Craig: "I was on my way to work when I was blindsided by an SUV bitch in a white Land Rover"
Randy: "What the fuck?"
Craig: "Yeah, I was merging onto the interstate when some 20 something SUV bitch struck me from behind going ten miles over the speed limit"
Randy: "Dear God!"
Craig: "Turns out she was texting her friend Alexis and she never saw me"
Randy: "You need to take this to court!"
Craig: "I wish but my lawyer said I was at fault!"
Randy: "How?"
Craig: "I should have yielded....."
Doctor: "Craig, I have to amputate your left leg. I'm sorry but it hasn't healed and its infected"
Craig: "I was on my way to work when I was blindsided by an SUV bitch in a white Land Rover"
Randy: "What the fuck?"
Craig: "Yeah, I was merging onto the interstate when some 20 something SUV bitch struck me from behind going ten miles over the speed limit"
Randy: "Dear God!"
Craig: "Turns out she was texting her friend Alexis and she never saw me"
Randy: "You need to take this to court!"
Craig: "I wish but my lawyer said I was at fault!"
Randy: "How?"
Craig: "I should have yielded....."
Doctor: "Craig, I have to amputate your left leg. I'm sorry but it hasn't healed and its infected"
by Backyard Justice May 13, 2008
Possibly the main cause of my death.
These drivers are usually women under 5 feet who drive expensive luxury SUVs, such as the Cadillac Escalade, Infiniti QX56, Mercedes GL, Toyota LandCruiser, etc.
They are possibly the WORST DRIVERS on the road today. They have a lack of skill in driving as most likely they are;
Texting
Figuring out how to change the radio station
Shutting up their spoiled brats
Putting make-up on as they may have got plastic surgery
Yelling at other drivers that the SUV bitch thinks are terrible drivers while the SUV is the real bad driver
Sorting out lawsuits because their kid got beaten up for showing off his Blackberry
Nobody knows why they buy SUVs, primarily because "It's safer than a normal car", when they are more likely to roll-over. Other reasons include the size, style and off-road capability (most of these luxury SUVs have AWD and not a real 4WD system).
Gas prices and the economy doesn't seem to hurt them also, for unknown reasons.
These drivers are usually women under 5 feet who drive expensive luxury SUVs, such as the Cadillac Escalade, Infiniti QX56, Mercedes GL, Toyota LandCruiser, etc.
They are possibly the WORST DRIVERS on the road today. They have a lack of skill in driving as most likely they are;
Texting
Figuring out how to change the radio station
Shutting up their spoiled brats
Putting make-up on as they may have got plastic surgery
Yelling at other drivers that the SUV bitch thinks are terrible drivers while the SUV is the real bad driver
Sorting out lawsuits because their kid got beaten up for showing off his Blackberry
Nobody knows why they buy SUVs, primarily because "It's safer than a normal car", when they are more likely to roll-over. Other reasons include the size, style and off-road capability (most of these luxury SUVs have AWD and not a real 4WD system).
Gas prices and the economy doesn't seem to hurt them also, for unknown reasons.
Scenario: Me and a friend are stopping at a stop-light in a normal car. The SUV bitch is texting her complaining son to wait a few minutes as she's almost at the school.
Me: God damnit, another red light!
Friend: Oh well... Hey is that mom texting?
Me: You're joking right?
Friend: No and she's about to....
(Me and my friend get rear ended)
Me: OH SHIT! ARE YOU OKAY?
(Friend is dead :( )
(I run out to the SUV bitch's SUV)
Me: WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?
SUV bitch: I'm so sorry I hit the gas instead of the brakes.
Me: YEAH RIGHT! YOU'RE FUCKING TEXTING ON YOUR PHONE FOR NO GOOD REASON AND NOW MY BEST FRIEND IS DEAD! THANKS A LOT WE'VE BEEN BEST FRIENDS SINCE KINDERGARDEN!
SUV bitch: Well, you shouldn't have been driving that small little crapbox, and I was telling my son I'm almost there!
Me: I'M ALMOST HERE MY ASS! GOOD LUCK AS I'M GOING TO SUE YOU FOR RECKLESS DRIVING!
SUV bitch: Well, I have good lawyers!
Me: Yeah right!
Me: God damnit, another red light!
Friend: Oh well... Hey is that mom texting?
Me: You're joking right?
Friend: No and she's about to....
(Me and my friend get rear ended)
Me: OH SHIT! ARE YOU OKAY?
(Friend is dead :( )
(I run out to the SUV bitch's SUV)
Me: WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?
SUV bitch: I'm so sorry I hit the gas instead of the brakes.
Me: YEAH RIGHT! YOU'RE FUCKING TEXTING ON YOUR PHONE FOR NO GOOD REASON AND NOW MY BEST FRIEND IS DEAD! THANKS A LOT WE'VE BEEN BEST FRIENDS SINCE KINDERGARDEN!
SUV bitch: Well, you shouldn't have been driving that small little crapbox, and I was telling my son I'm almost there!
Me: I'M ALMOST HERE MY ASS! GOOD LUCK AS I'M GOING TO SUE YOU FOR RECKLESS DRIVING!
SUV bitch: Well, I have good lawyers!
Me: Yeah right!
by american drivers are retarded April 17, 2010
A fairly wealthy person with Democratic (as opposed to Republican) political leanings. Often carries the connotation that their lifetsyle is not entirely in sync with the philosophy of their politics. Found in high concentrations around Aspen, Colorado and Berkeley, California.
Dick: "Look at that! Another GMC Envoy with a Kerry/Edwards bumpersticker."
Jane: "Looks like another SUV Democrat."
Jane: "Looks like another SUV Democrat."
by Cosmo July 13, 2005
A crossover SUV, crossover, or "SUV coupe" is basically a normal SUV with less storage space, headroom, and seats that's trying to be more "sporty" but failing miserably. Some could also be described as a hatchback or estate/station wagon that's been lifted and made to look bigger while adding a sloping roof, making it in fact smaller on the inside.
Crossovers usually have the features of virtually no offroad capability, a high centre of gravity, more weight than a normal car, worse fuel economy than they'd have if they were lower (i.e. if they were a wagon or a hatchback), a higher price, and fucking hideous appearances.
Crossovers tend to be driven by:
-people with weird taste
-people with vision impairment
-people who easily fall victim to the seductive whisperings of car salespeople
-soccer moms
-people who think they're better than everyone and thus need to sit high up, no matter the cost
-people who have a large disposable income and so little interest in what car they drive that their sheer lack of taste is perceptible to the naked eye
-Americans
-mindless trend-followers
-people with 2 children who couldn't possibly fit in the back of a normal car, SUV, or minivan with the same amount of or more seats and more rear headroom
Crossovers usually have the features of virtually no offroad capability, a high centre of gravity, more weight than a normal car, worse fuel economy than they'd have if they were lower (i.e. if they were a wagon or a hatchback), a higher price, and fucking hideous appearances.
Crossovers tend to be driven by:
-people with weird taste
-people with vision impairment
-people who easily fall victim to the seductive whisperings of car salespeople
-soccer moms
-people who think they're better than everyone and thus need to sit high up, no matter the cost
-people who have a large disposable income and so little interest in what car they drive that their sheer lack of taste is perceptible to the naked eye
-Americans
-mindless trend-followers
-people with 2 children who couldn't possibly fit in the back of a normal car, SUV, or minivan with the same amount of or more seats and more rear headroom
Person 1: *looks out the window*
Person 1: *throws up*
Person 2: Why is Person 1 throwing up?
Person 3: She saw a 2015 Mercedes GLE Coupe driving past. Y'know, the crossover SUV?
Person 2: Ah, understandable. It's sad really, how people can't think for themselves and mindlessly buy what's being marketed to them as "better" when in actuality it's much worse, both practically and visually. Also how that is having the effect of car companies making more and more of them, polluting the landscape of our crumbling modern world with these monstrosities. And they're making less of the actually good ones for people who like cars, or who just want something decent to drive about in.
Person 1: Anyway, shall we get going?
Person 3: Yes, let us get into Person 1's 1997 Volvo 850 T-5R Estate with 7 seats, enough storage space for twelve and a half dead bodies, a top speed of 245 km/h, better fuel economy than a 2013 BMW X6 xDrive35i, and gorgeous looks, that has not once fallen over whilst swerving to avoid a deer or small child. And next, if I would be so bold as to suggest it, allow us to drive it downtown, permitting the maze of SUVs and half-SUVs doesn't block the view so much so that we no longer behold the privilege of gazing upon the direction in which we are headed without visual impediment.
Person 1: Yes, let's do that.
Person 1: *throws up*
Person 2: Why is Person 1 throwing up?
Person 3: She saw a 2015 Mercedes GLE Coupe driving past. Y'know, the crossover SUV?
Person 2: Ah, understandable. It's sad really, how people can't think for themselves and mindlessly buy what's being marketed to them as "better" when in actuality it's much worse, both practically and visually. Also how that is having the effect of car companies making more and more of them, polluting the landscape of our crumbling modern world with these monstrosities. And they're making less of the actually good ones for people who like cars, or who just want something decent to drive about in.
Person 1: Anyway, shall we get going?
Person 3: Yes, let us get into Person 1's 1997 Volvo 850 T-5R Estate with 7 seats, enough storage space for twelve and a half dead bodies, a top speed of 245 km/h, better fuel economy than a 2013 BMW X6 xDrive35i, and gorgeous looks, that has not once fallen over whilst swerving to avoid a deer or small child. And next, if I would be so bold as to suggest it, allow us to drive it downtown, permitting the maze of SUVs and half-SUVs doesn't block the view so much so that we no longer behold the privilege of gazing upon the direction in which we are headed without visual impediment.
Person 1: Yes, let's do that.
by Hannah the existing enthusiast June 18, 2020
Old lady: I want a car that's safe.
Salesman: Then you should consider this Volvo. It's got an SUV factor of 85. About the only car with a higher SUV factor would be a Hummer.
Salesman: Then you should consider this Volvo. It's got an SUV factor of 85. About the only car with a higher SUV factor would be a Hummer.
by mandingoe September 9, 2004
SUV TIPPING
A substitute for cow tipping. Allegedly practiced in growing urban areas as grazing country cows in fields are replaced by consuming city cows in SUVs. Still requires at least three people, one person on one side, two on the other. The lone person pushes very hard on one side, and after waiting for the balancing responce from the startled driver, the other two push very hard on their side to overbalance it. Legend has it that SUV Tipping could result an SUV's drivers's death because they could meltdown in frustration if unable to exit the SUV and be prevented from shopping for extended periods of time. However briefly forcing a SUV onto it's back does not usually harm them.
A substitute for cow tipping. Allegedly practiced in growing urban areas as grazing country cows in fields are replaced by consuming city cows in SUVs. Still requires at least three people, one person on one side, two on the other. The lone person pushes very hard on one side, and after waiting for the balancing responce from the startled driver, the other two push very hard on their side to overbalance it. Legend has it that SUV Tipping could result an SUV's drivers's death because they could meltdown in frustration if unable to exit the SUV and be prevented from shopping for extended periods of time. However briefly forcing a SUV onto it's back does not usually harm them.
After my small town became cityfied,the cow pasture next door became a shopping center parking lot full of SUVs instead of cows. Since we could no longer go over there and tip cows at night, we switched from cow tipping to SUV tipping. Just like grazing cows, SUV drivers often dream while driving and doze while parking. Caution, a startled SUV driver can be capable of verbally hurting someone and a herd of SUV drivers could be even more esasperating. Like cows, SUVs also may be an endangered species, one for expelling too much gas, the other for consuming to much.
by OllyPharton May 6, 2008
SUV Human (pronunciation and connotation similar to subhuman) – Typically a petite insecure woman or a man experiencing vehicular compensation syndrome. They are driven by an irresistible urge to flaunt their socio-economic level (or degree of personal debt) by poorly handling incredibly large and overly expensive Sport Utility Veheicles as a display of their own self-importance or ‘status.’
However in this case SUV stands for Selfish Urban Vanity. Several deficiencies characterize almost all SUV Human behavior …
Inability to either safely brake or accelerate
Inability to park within any set of painted lines
Inability to drive with both hands (that is without a cell phone, food, make-up, etc.)
Inability to reach the pedals and see over the steering wheel simultaneously
Inability to leave any urban center and actually go ‘off-road’
Inability to perform any type maintenance or automotive repair
Inability to keep all four tires on the ground during or after an accident
Typically SUV-Humans are danger to themselves and anyone who happens to be near them in traffic. They will almost always survive any automotive accident that they cause and will feel no remorse for the fate they perpetrate upon others – ‘they should have seen me – its their fault.’
Inability to either safely brake or accelerate
Inability to park within any set of painted lines
Inability to drive with both hands (that is without a cell phone, food, make-up, etc.)
Inability to reach the pedals and see over the steering wheel simultaneously
Inability to leave any urban center and actually go ‘off-road’
Inability to perform any type maintenance or automotive repair
Inability to keep all four tires on the ground during or after an accident
Typically SUV-Humans are danger to themselves and anyone who happens to be near them in traffic. They will almost always survive any automotive accident that they cause and will feel no remorse for the fate they perpetrate upon others – ‘they should have seen me – its their fault.’
by Night Manager May 10, 2007