First Night
noun, misnomer: A national family oriented celebration beginning on New Year's Eve (Last night of the old year.) and ending by 12:30 am New Year's Day (First morning of the new year.), in cities and towns across the US. Created by social conservatives as a drug free, alcohol free and sex free alternative to human pleasure.
normal person: Excuse me sir, can you assist me?
First Nighter: Certainly. What do you need?
normal person: I need five hits of ecstasy, two Asian hookers, and a bottle of Champagne.
First Nighter: This is a family event. Check your liberal coat at the door.
normal person: I apologize for interrupting your NAMBLA rally. My bad.
First Nighter: Certainly. What do you need?
normal person: I need five hits of ecstasy, two Asian hookers, and a bottle of Champagne.
First Nighter: This is a family event. Check your liberal coat at the door.
normal person: I apologize for interrupting your NAMBLA rally. My bad.
First Night by Cunty Fresh Fanatic November 25, 2010
Get the First Night mug.