Skip to main content

Johnny Bench Called 

A way to infer that a woman has an old worn out vagina. The full phrase would hypothetically be "Johnny Bench called, he wants his catcher's mitt back."
My girlfriend: "I told you 23 times to pick up my dry cleaning and take out the trash!!!!"

Me: "Johnny Bench called..."

My Girlfriend "What does that mean?"

Me: "What?"

My Girlfriend: "Who is Johnny Bench?"

Me: "Whats my Jdate password?"

Johnny Bench Called 

In other words, an "old catcher". As in someone whose old and takes it in the ass.

Saying "Johnny Bench called" is as to say "you're an old catcher", or "you take it in the ass".

As used in the Animated Sitcom Archer on FX.
Archer catches his mother having phone sex.

Conversation ensues.

Mother: Then get out, and for godsake take a shower. Smells like a whore house in here.
Archer: Okay... You're Own Fingers
Mother: Hmm?
Archer: Nothing.... Johnny Bench called.

Johnny Bench Called 

Another way of saying "Catch you later"

Which is also the title of Mr. Bench's autobiography.

In episode one of Archer (an animated sitcom on FX) the phrase is used at least twice.
Used primarily after an awkward moment in the conversation.

Man: When is the baby due.
Woman: I'm not pregnant.
Man: uhh. Umm

Woman: What?
Man: Johnny Bench Called (Then Departs the scene)

See Catch ya later
Johnny Bench Called by Xilften September 24, 2009

Claim a Johnny Bench 

When something that was once at the forefront of popular culture or national consciousness has become generationally extinct.
Tammy: "Do you remember that Valley Girl song?"
Nate: "I'm going to have to claim a Johnny Bench on that one."

claim a Johnny Bench 

When something that was once at the forefront of popular culture or national consciousness has become generationally extinct.
Tammy: "Do you remember that Valley Girl song?"
Nate: "I'm going to have to claim a Johnny Bench on that one."
claim a Johnny Bench by Dean Houser November 11, 2008
It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.
Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.

Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.
Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009
Word of the Day on June 26, 2026