stool softeners

humorous term for in-car seat warmers

Dude, i'm freezing my balls off in here. Doesn't this car have stool softeners?

by JSMAX October 6, 2010

Stool Softener

An object placed upon a hard chair ( i.e. a stool ) in the form of a cushion or a similar device, used to soften the area that is sat upon. Commonly used when a person will remain stationary for extended periods of time, such as when one is gaming.

"Dude, my ass is falling asleep. Hand me a stool softener."

by RunawayPanda January 19, 2014

the stool softener

A homo or heterosexual act of intensely pounding the colon into utter submission. Most often performed with a full intestinal load of feces, ready for expelment. The act is ended with the anus exploding out the contents into the softener-er's hot ejaculatory goo.

Frenchy hated his ex-girlfriend so much for giving him Hep-C, he performed "The Stool Softener" on her the next weekend when she called up drunk and wanted some action. She passed out in a warm Spunk Loaf later that night.

by e-rips December 16, 2003