An object placed upon a hard chair ( i.e. a stool ) in the form of a cushion or a similar device, used to soften the area that is sat upon. Commonly used when a person will remain stationary for extended periods of time, such as when one is gaming.
A homo or heterosexual act of intensely pounding the colon into utter submission. Most often performed with a full intestinal load of feces, ready for expelment. The act is ended with the anus exploding out the contents into the softener-er's hot ejaculatory goo.
Frenchy hated his ex-girlfriend so much for giving him Hep-C, he performed "The Stool Softener" on her the next weekend when she called up drunk and wanted some action. She passed out in a warm Spunk Loaf later that night.
1. Select a player (real or fantasy) during a sports draft to spite or anger one or more of your opponents because they had intended to select him/her.
2. Select a player (real or fantasy) during a sport draft to put one or more of your opponents at a strategic disadvantage.
1. Billy hate drafted Chad OchoCinco because he knew Sam had wanted him since he is from Cincinnati. Billy already had plenty of players to fill that position but wanted to make sure Sam didn't get him.
2. Billy hate drafted Peyton Manning because he was the only good quarterback left and he knew Sam had been planning on drafting him.
Utility beer is the beer you keep around for the day-to-day moments when beer is a necessity to assist in pedestrian activities (golf, plumbing, yardwork, babysitting, staff meetings, Zoom calls). For the beer snob it is the beer you save for neighbors when they drop in at 3 p.m. on a Tuesday. It is differentiated from the actual high-end beer you save for special events, holidays, and special tastings.
Person 1: Dave, did you bring along those hazy craft IPA's so we could drink while cleaningLyle's pool?
Person 2: Nope. I just have a bunch of utility beer that Steve dumped on me. Good enough for this. It is only 10:30 a.m.