Plutonium

A naturally radioactive, silvery, metallic transuranic element, occurring in uranium ores and produced artificially by neutron bombardment of uranium. Its longest-lived isotope is Pu 244 with a half-life of 76 million years.

I just ate a few pounds of plutonium.

Plutonium by Eyeballflyball July 15, 2003

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plutonium

The antithesis of Gold.

I thought I was gold.

Then I found out I was plutonium:(

plutonium by Dick Tonium July 27, 2014

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plutonium

Super radioactive metal that turns green in the dark. Used in the Fat Man bomb, only 10kg is needed to reach critical mass (self-sustaining reaction.) If exposed to humid conditions, it can spontaneously combust.

Torch: You have a package...Plutonium!?
Slash: Yep, I was bored.
Torch: Wha...omfg...
Slash: It says the guy who discovered it kept it in a matchbox inside his desk. Weird.

plutonium by The Mr Needles Experience October 4, 2006

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plutonium

The spiciest herb in the world, used by most Asian and Arab resteraunts to add flavor to their foods.

In 1958, however, the United States banned the use of plutonium in food, resulting in many plutonium spice companies either going bankrupt or moving out of the country.

Johnny: Dude! I just got some plutonium!

Dan: Are you shitting me!?

Johnny: I shit you not! I'm gonna make some General Taos Chicken with it!

Dan: That shit's gonna be awesomely spicy!

plutonium by The Keasbey Knight April 26, 2008