A lesser prep school. Known as Malvern, it is located in the middle of nowhere and is frequently the site of Amish
mafia raids. Students of the school often arm themselves with weapons to protect against such attacks, but are more often too inept at physical action to move out of the way.
When looking for a real prep school, students apply in massive numbers to the Prep School of champions, Saint
Joseph'
s Prep. Located in Philly, the students need not weapons to protect themselves, for the school has professional ninjas hired permanently as bodyguards. Since all the talented
people come to the Prep, it owns all other schools in academics and athletics.
Parents, don't wuss out and send your child to a lesser school. Send your child where they deserve it. The Prep.
Home of the Pirate Mixer, where there's twenty sexy girls who want to go all the way to every
guy. Now that you know, don't make a mistake. Because knowing is half the battle.
Dude, I visited this Malvern place yesterday. They molested me and stole my wallet.
Oh, that sucks. You should visit the Prep! They gave me free tickets and show me how to use them to get girls with!
Tickets to where?
Tickets to the gun show!
---
Dude, I malverned your
sister last night.
Aww, man. You capped her in the
knee and slapped her with your wang?
Naw, that was yesterday when I O'Haraed her.
Oh, so you screwed a man and then made my sister give you a blowjob?
Yeah, that's it.
---
Damn, after one year at Malvern, I'd rather eat out a
donkey than stay here.
I know, man. I wish my parents loved me and had sent me to the Prep instead of this trashhole.