wouldaben's definitions
Her vulvor was rich, salty, and strong. Like a fine wine, it had many nuanced tones which could be distinguished upon repeated samplings. I savor her vulvor!
by wouldaben January 15, 2011
Get the vulvormug. a covert communication device inserted in the vagina of a secret-agent or sexy spy. The earliest models could only send an out-going message encoded by the secret-agent squeezing her vagina in Morse-code, which was then converted the kegel contractions into radio signals. The advantage of the device was that it was unlikely to be found after a thorough frisking or even a strip-search. In the event it was found, the secret-agent could merely explain that she was having her period (as the device looked like an ordinary tampon with the string serving as the antenna). An improved version of the device was later devised that could receive and convey incoming messages as well as communicating outgoing messages. The incoming message, also in Morse-code, was translated into vibrations that corresponded to the dots and dashes. While effective as a communication device, this newer version suffered from the draw-back that it tended to cause intense orgasms in the secret-agents and, as the tampon could not absorb all the natural orgasmic lubricant due to its being filled with electronic gadgetry, the orgasmic fluid would often carry the tampon-transponder out into the panties of the secret agent, and she would have to improvise a hasty trip to the lady's room to reinsert the device before she could resume communication.
The tech tampon was first used by super-models because spy agencies believed that the thinnest women had the tightest vaginas and would therefore be best able to squeeze the transponders with their vaginas to generate out-going messages. Unfortunately, the super-model secret-agents had sex so frequently, necessitating the removal of the tech tampon, that they were often out of communication, and less attractive secret agents had to be recruited.
by wouldaben December 16, 2010
Get the tech tamponmug. You argued, privately, to each member of the committee that I should be fired and now you come by on my last day to tell me how sorry you are about what "happened." Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.
by wouldaben January 15, 2011
Get the Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.mug. Cunnilingus performed on a woman who is trying to reduce her weight, size, or fatness and which is performed for the purpose of replacing her hunger with sexual ecstasy, or to create an inextricable psychological association between the two.
He loved to perform diet-lingus on her; he loved the salty taste of her vulva (especially when she orgasmed) and he loved to gaze through the valleys between her hip bones and between her tiny breast-buds to her lean face - eyes closed and mouth open - as she moaned with pleasure. He was aroused by the zeal with which she pursued her ultra-slim figure and would have felt guilty if he had encouraged her in the extremes she endured to maintain her sylphic shape. She had formed an inextricable psychological association between being thin (or losing weight) and sexuality and would not let him pleasure her sexually unless she had exceeded her weight-loss goals - much as he desired to pleasure her all the time.
When she felt like she could no longer restrain herself from eating, she would have her boyfriend perform diet-lingus on her until she orgasmed and her hunger subsided. In addition to enjoying cunnilingus generally and diet-lingus in particular, her boyfriend was awed by her ultra-slim figure, but was tinged with guilt that he was playing a part in something that was likely damaging her health. That she insisted that he perform diet-lingus and would not let him have any kind of sex with her unless she exceeded her super-human weight-loss goals let him feel, morally, as if he were not culpable for her starvation.
When she felt like she could no longer restrain herself from eating, she would have her boyfriend perform diet-lingus on her until she orgasmed and her hunger subsided. In addition to enjoying cunnilingus generally and diet-lingus in particular, her boyfriend was awed by her ultra-slim figure, but was tinged with guilt that he was playing a part in something that was likely damaging her health. That she insisted that he perform diet-lingus and would not let him have any kind of sex with her unless she exceeded her super-human weight-loss goals let him feel, morally, as if he were not culpable for her starvation.
by wouldaben December 13, 2010
Get the diet-lingusmug. Ballerinas strive for their bodies to be like that of a sylph - thin to the point that they appear lighter than air.
by wouldaben December 16, 2010
Get the sylphmug. a garment of such genius that it firmly covers the vulva without touching the anus thereby collecting a woman's best smells while avoiding her worst. Another genius feature of panties are that their edges end right at the natural crease where the woman's leg bends and slope upwards towards her hip bones thereby visually lengthening her legs and narrowing her pelvic region.
The only thing better than a beautiful woman wearing panties is a beautiful woman wearing nothing at all.
by wouldaben January 6, 2011
Get the pantiesmug. As thin as a model, particularly a runway/catwalk model. Very thin with essentially no visible fat. Abdomen is either flat or, preferably, concave. Hip bones and the lower edges of the rib cage rise as peaks above the valley of the abdomen created between them. Real breasts are not present as real breasts are filled with fat that was long ago stripped away by diet and exercise. Artificial breasts are sometimes present as they are composed of materials that cannot be digested to support basal metabolism. Cheeks are hollow and cheek-bones are prominent. Thighs are not much, if any, thicker than the calves. When the model stands, she creates the approximation of a one-dimensional line protruding perpendicular to the plane of the floor on which she stands.
I understand that in order to be as thin as they are, models must endure constant hunger, hunger headaches, coldness, frequent colds/flu, and often abuse drugs such as cocaine and cigarettes. Even when they have no body fat, they use laxatives and enemas to minimize their waists through fecal removal. None the less, I am ashamed to admit that I am enthralled with the sylphic beauty of women who are model thin. I have tried for two decades to ignore or change this attraction, but I cannot shake it.
by wouldaben December 13, 2010
Get the model thinmug.