wouldaben's definitions

dieting bra

A bra (brassiere) which is smaller than the intended wearer's current size and intended to serve as motivation for her diet (course of action to reduce body weight, size, or fat content) or to serve as a marker of when her diet has achieved its intended goal.

The aspiring ballerina purchased a tiny lace bra with a 30 inch bust and AA cups (essentially a training bra) and said to herself, "I will not eat solid food until I fit into this dieting bra. And even then, I will diet to remain slim enough to fit in it." She eagerly anticipated the feeling of the delicate black lace against her shrinking breast-buds, and her hunger temporarily subsided.

by wouldaben December 13, 2010

three-fingered booger

a legal case that a lawyer cannot bring to an end or otherwise get rid of despite great effort and expense. Such a case usually loses the attorney money, harms his/her reputation, and has little social value.

First my opposing counsel would not be reasonable, then my client would not be reasonable and now, after we have finally reached an agreement, the judge refuses to accept or reject our proposal. This case is a three-fingered booger!

by wouldaben December 18, 2010

when the economy picks up

Common beginning or ending to a sentence. It can serve to:

1. provide an excuse for why one has not yet done something.
2. suggest a vague intention of doing something later (similar to how Spanish speakers use the word "mañana.")
3. add minimal credibility to an idea that is a pipe dream.

1. There's no point in looking for a job until the economy picks up.
2. I'll start my business when the economy picks up.
3. Unemployment levels will go back down to the levels they were in the late 1990s when the economy picks up.

by wouldaben January 7, 2011

shit crumbs

Those brown specks on the bathroom floor around the toilet.

Those aren't little pieces of milk chocolate on your bathroom floor. Them is shit crumbs!

by wouldaben January 10, 2011

model-thin

As thin as a model, particularly a runway/catwalk model. Very thin with essentially no visible fat. Abdomen is either flat or concave. Hip bones and the lower edges of the rib cage rise above the valley of the abdomen created between them. Real breasts are not present (or at least prominent) as breasts are filled with fat that has been stripped away by calorie deprivation. Small breast "buds," comparable to those of slim girls in the earliest stages of puberty, may be present. Artificial breasts are often present as they are composed of materials that cannot be digested to support metabolism, and the modeling industry seems to prefer them. Cheeks are concave and cheek-bones are prominent. Thighs are not much, if any, thicker than the calves. When the model stands with her feet together, her thighs do not touch each other and she creates the approximation of a one-dimensional line protruding perpendicular to the plane of the floor.

I understand that in order to be model-thin, women must endure constant hunger, hunger-headaches, coldness, frequent colds/flu, and often abuse drugs such as cocaine and cigarettes. Even when they have little body fat, they use laxatives and enemas to minimize their waists. Some force themselves to vomit food they have unintentionally eaten. None the less, I am ashamed to admit that I am enthralled with the sylphic beauty of women who are model thin. I have tried for two decades to ignore or change this attraction, but I cannot shake it.

by wouldaben December 13, 2010

beknighted

adjective used to describe people who speak as though they have royal (i.e. "knighted") authority. Important or authoritative but almost always used in a mocking or sarcastic sense.

Patient to Doctor: "I have been taking the same medications at the same dosages for the last ten years. I am not interested in paying $200 for a slip of paper that says, in your beknighted opinion, that I can continue to take them. That is simply the doctor's monopoly taxing pharmaceutical sales."

It is Sarah Palin's beknighted conclusion that climate change is a fiction. Next she'll be telling us she's an expert in quantum computing.

by wouldaben December 18, 2010

Panty Bridge

the phenomenon on a thin woman of the waist-band of her panties being suspended between her hip bones without touching her concave lower abdomen. This phenomenon is best achieved when the woman is lying on her back. Panty bridges are considered attractive by many not only because they demonstrate the thinness of the woman but, when viewed from the proper angle, provide a view of the top of the woman's vulva/pubic mound.

That model is showing off how thin she is by lying down, sucking in her already tiny abdomen, and creating a panty bridge so deep that a train could drive under it.

by wouldaben December 16, 2010