weyus's definitions

piss sonar

The echolocation tool men use when they piss in the dark to make sure they're hitting the toilet. This involves starting to urinate and listening carefully for the sound of the urine stream hitting the toilet water. If the sound is not heard, aiming adjustments are made until such time as the reassuring sound is heard.

Joe: "Man, I got home last night drunk, went in the bathroom, didn't turn on the light and ended up pissing all over the bathroom floor."
Bob: "You should have used piss sonar to find the toilet, bro."
Joe: "Oh."

by weyus August 20, 2013

shitfacetweet

To tweet (post messages to Twitter) while intoxicated.

I got drunk last night and decided to shitfacetweet what I was thinking.

by weyus August 5, 2010

ingratio

Providing fellatio in order to ingratiate yourself to one or more people and get something you want in return. While this can literally occur, often it is meant euphemistically.

Bob, hoping to get a job after some time being laid off, considered the idea of ingratio with respect to his new job.
During the interview he thought "Gentlemen, I'm excited to start sucking this cock." Luckily, he did not say this out loud.

by weyus February 5, 2021

rational blue balls

The extreme mental and sometimes emotional frustration that comes from trying to reason with someone who is not using rationality to drive their decisions (e.g. religious fanatics, conspiracy theorists, etc.)

John: Hey have you heard about this documentary called "Plandemic" - it's about how THEY created the coronavirus in order to enslave us with a vaccine that everyone "has to take".

Peter: What the fuck are you talking about John? I watched it and it's clearly horseshit. No one in that video is credible and almost all of them have been debunked as crackpots elsewhere...why are you telling me about this shit?

John: Dude, you don't understand, THEY have a plan and we are going to lose our freedom, bro. Why can't you see? Don't be a sheep, man!

Peter: Thanks John, now you've given me rational blue balls. I need to go talk with a reasonable person and maybe I'll feel better.

by weyus May 7, 2020

social media laundering

The act of getting another person to post a potentially controversial comment on social media sites (e.g. Facebook, Google+, Twitter etc.) because of a concern that the post will offend ones friends and/or reflect poorly on oneself.

John, who was a liberal (and kind of a pussy), and had a lot of conservative friends, decided to do some social media laundering when posting his views on social issues.

by weyus August 7, 2011

toxic waste dump

A bowel movement that stinks to high heaven, leaves streaks on the toilet porcelain, and in many cases, induces tears in anyone who comes near it. Anyone who comes in contact with it feels like it's an environmental disaster. Often the consistency of a chocolate soft serve ice cream.

Dan: What the fuck just happened in the shitter - it stinks like Love Canal?!? Wes - what did you do?
Wes: (sheeplishly grinning) I just took a toxic waste dump. Soary.

by weyus July 26, 2018

glitterblast

The act of dispensing glitter onto the face of a sex partner immediately after ejaculating onto the aforementioned face.

Janet: "OMG, Suzy, you look fabulous!"

Suzy: "Yeah, my boyfriend just came over and glitterblasted me."

by weyus May 12, 2013