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weyus's definitions

Halfling

A potential mate that is no older than half your age. Largely attractive due to the mathematical relationship between their age and yours.
Wil: That chick is only 21 and I'm 43. I totally wanna make out with her.
Ray: C'mon dude, she isn't even that hot. You just wanna make out with her because she's your halfling.
Wil: Exactly!
by weyus August 3, 2017
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cooter haulin'

The process whereby a woman uses her vagina to transport items (usually contraband). A female-only alternative to the prison wallet.
Mary: Hey Bob, here's that pot vape pen you wanted.
Bob: Thanks! But how did you get it past customs?
Mary: I did a bit of cooter haulin'.
Bob: (as he gingerly sets the pen down) Ummm, thanks?
by weyus July 26, 2018
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glitterblast

The act of dispensing glitter onto the face of a sex partner immediately after ejaculating onto the aforementioned face.
Janet: "OMG, Suzy, you look fabulous!"

Suzy: "Yeah, my boyfriend just came over and glitterblasted me."
by weyus May 12, 2013
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scapecurry

An Indian meal that is blamed for the poor quality of several subsequent bowel movement.
Bob: I have had some horrible shits since we went to Raja Elephant and had that vindaloo. I can't believe how much I pay the price for that food.
Alice: Oh, shut up! It's been 36 hours since we were there - you know that vindaloo is just a scapecurry!
by weyus October 11, 2015
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living bicariously

Experiencing intimacy with a person of the same sex through someone else. Note that the person whom you are living bicariously through can be of either sex.
Bob: Hey John, why are you so close to Tina since she's been dating Rob? She barely even has time for you since she and Rob bang all the time.
John: Believe it or not, I find myself really attracted to Bob, and I'm living bicariously through Tina.
Bob: Bro....
by weyus June 5, 2018
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Big Globe

The worldwide cabal of globe (and sometimes atlas and gazetteer) manufacturers that foments discord around the world in order to promote revolution and the creation of new national boundaries in order to promote sales of their products.
John: Did you hear about that revolution that started in southwest Namibia? You can guarantee that Big Globe is behind it. Of course, that's nothing like their crowning achievement, the dissolution of the Soviet Union.

Richard: Bastards.
by weyus July 27, 2016
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Tindersphere

The distance one is willing to travel in order to have a sexual liaison with someone they just matched with on Tinder.
John Adams: I just connected with this super hot Methodist. She is only two townships over and is still of childbearing age.

Ben Franklin: I hope you get to see 'neath her petticoat.

John Adams: Alas, my horse is lame and thus she is not within my Tindersphere.
by weyus August 28, 2016
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