weyus's definitions

scapecurry

An Indian meal that is blamed for the poor quality of several subsequent bowel movement.

Bob: I have had some horrible shits since we went to Raja Elephant and had that vindaloo. I can't believe how much I pay the price for that food.
Alice: Oh, shut up! It's been 36 hours since we were there - you know that vindaloo is just a scapecurry!

by weyus October 11, 2015

piss sonar

The echolocation tool men use when they piss in the dark to make sure they're hitting the toilet. This involves starting to urinate and listening carefully for the sound of the urine stream hitting the toilet water. If the sound is not heard, aiming adjustments are made until such time as the reassuring sound is heard.

Joe: "Man, I got home last night drunk, went in the bathroom, didn't turn on the light and ended up pissing all over the bathroom floor."
Bob: "You should have used piss sonar to find the toilet, bro."
Joe: "Oh."

by weyus August 20, 2013

shitfacetweet

To tweet (post messages to Twitter) while intoxicated.

I got drunk last night and decided to shitfacetweet what I was thinking.

by weyus August 5, 2010

ingratio

Providing fellatio in order to ingratiate yourself to one or more people and get something you want in return. While this can literally occur, often it is meant euphemistically.

Bob, hoping to get a job after some time being laid off, considered the idea of ingratio with respect to his new job.
During the interview he thought "Gentlemen, I'm excited to start sucking this cock." Luckily, he did not say this out loud.

by weyus February 5, 2021

asshole asymptote

The mathematical function that describes how you can’t really get all of the shit off your asshole by wiping. It is asymptotic and tends towards 0 as a function of number of wipes, but never quite gets there.

With a bidet, it’s actually possible to clean your asshole completely. Wiping just follows the asshole asymptote.

by weyus November 9, 2022

Big Globe

The worldwide cabal of globe (and sometimes atlas and gazetteer) manufacturers that foments discord around the world in order to promote revolution and the creation of new national boundaries in order to promote sales of their products.

John: Did you hear about that revolution that started in southwest Namibia? You can guarantee that Big Globe is behind it. Of course, that's nothing like their crowning achievement, the dissolution of the Soviet Union.

Richard: Bastards.

by weyus July 27, 2016

Tindersphere

The distance one is willing to travel in order to have a sexual liaison with someone they just matched with on Tinder.

John Adams: I just connected with this super hot Methodist. She is only two townships over and is still of childbearing age.

Ben Franklin: I hope you get to see 'neath her petticoat.

John Adams: Alas, my horse is lame and thus she is not within my Tindersphere.

by weyus August 28, 2016