weyus's definitions

spam reunion

The reunion of two people that occurs because one of their online accounts has been compromised and sends spam to the other, resulting in the other to reply and reconnect to the first person.

Joe receives email advertising "Make your penis 20X larger with just one pill!" from an old acquaintance, Bob.
Joe replies to Bob: "Hey Bob - looks like your email got hacked. How have you been, man? The family is well, I hope? I just started a new job down in the valley - it's going pretty well. We should catch up over drinks sometime."
Bob replies: "Thanks for the heads up, Joe. I changed my email password. I'm excited to see you for a spam reunion."

by weyus September 25, 2013

scapecurry

An Indian meal that is blamed for the poor quality of several subsequent bowel movement.

Bob: I have had some horrible shits since we went to Raja Elephant and had that vindaloo. I can't believe how much I pay the price for that food.
Alice: Oh, shut up! It's been 36 hours since we were there - you know that vindaloo is just a scapecurry!

by weyus October 11, 2015

Tindersphere

The distance one is willing to travel in order to have a sexual liaison with someone they just matched with on Tinder.

John Adams: I just connected with this super hot Methodist. She is only two townships over and is still of childbearing age.

Ben Franklin: I hope you get to see 'neath her petticoat.

John Adams: Alas, my horse is lame and thus she is not within my Tindersphere.

by weyus August 28, 2016

toxic waste dump

A bowel movement that stinks to high heaven, leaves streaks on the toilet porcelain, and in many cases, induces tears in anyone who comes near it. Anyone who comes in contact with it feels like it's an environmental disaster. Often the consistency of a chocolate soft serve ice cream.

Dan: What the fuck just happened in the shitter - it stinks like Love Canal?!? Wes - what did you do?
Wes: (sheeplishly grinning) I just took a toxic waste dump. Soary.

by weyus July 26, 2018

rational blue balls

The extreme mental and sometimes emotional frustration that comes from trying to reason with someone who is not using rationality to drive their decisions (e.g. religious fanatics, conspiracy theorists, etc.)

John: Hey have you heard about this documentary called "Plandemic" - it's about how THEY created the coronavirus in order to enslave us with a vaccine that everyone "has to take".

Peter: What the fuck are you talking about John? I watched it and it's clearly horseshit. No one in that video is credible and almost all of them have been debunked as crackpots elsewhere...why are you telling me about this shit?

John: Dude, you don't understand, THEY have a plan and we are going to lose our freedom, bro. Why can't you see? Don't be a sheep, man!

Peter: Thanks John, now you've given me rational blue balls. I need to go talk with a reasonable person and maybe I'll feel better.

by weyus May 7, 2020

Halfling

A potential mate that is no older than half your age. Largely attractive due to the mathematical relationship between their age and yours.

Wil: That chick is only 21 and I'm 43. I totally wanna make out with her.
Ray: C'mon dude, she isn't even that hot. You just wanna make out with her because she's your halfling.
Wil: Exactly!

by weyus August 3, 2017

asshole asymptote

The mathematical function that describes how you can’t really get all of the shit off your asshole by wiping. It is asymptotic and tends towards 0 as a function of number of wipes, but never quite gets there.

With a bidet, it’s actually possible to clean your asshole completely. Wiping just follows the asshole asymptote.

by weyus November 9, 2022