weyus's definitions

living bicariously

Experiencing intimacy with a person of the same sex through someone else. Note that the person whom you are living bicariously through can be of either sex.

Bob: Hey John, why are you so close to Tina since she's been dating Rob? She barely even has time for you since she and Rob bang all the time.
John: Believe it or not, I find myself really attracted to Bob, and I'm living bicariously through Tina.
Bob: Bro....

by weyus June 5, 2018

Big Globe

The worldwide cabal of globe (and sometimes atlas and gazetteer) manufacturers that foments discord around the world in order to promote revolution and the creation of new national boundaries in order to promote sales of their products.

John: Did you hear about that revolution that started in southwest Namibia? You can guarantee that Big Globe is behind it. Of course, that's nothing like their crowning achievement, the dissolution of the Soviet Union.

Richard: Bastards.

by weyus July 27, 2016

ingratio

Providing fellatio in order to ingratiate yourself to one or more people and get something you want in return. While this can literally occur, often it is meant euphemistically.

Bob, hoping to get a job after some time being laid off, considered the idea of ingratio with respect to his new job.
During the interview he thought "Gentlemen, I'm excited to start sucking this cock." Luckily, he did not say this out loud.

by weyus February 5, 2021

shitfacetweet

To tweet (post messages to Twitter) while intoxicated.

I got drunk last night and decided to shitfacetweet what I was thinking.

by weyus August 5, 2010

piss sonar

The echolocation tool men use when they piss in the dark to make sure they're hitting the toilet. This involves starting to urinate and listening carefully for the sound of the urine stream hitting the toilet water. If the sound is not heard, aiming adjustments are made until such time as the reassuring sound is heard.

Joe: "Man, I got home last night drunk, went in the bathroom, didn't turn on the light and ended up pissing all over the bathroom floor."
Bob: "You should have used piss sonar to find the toilet, bro."
Joe: "Oh."

by weyus August 20, 2013

gaypiphany

The sudden realization that oneself is a homosexual.

After a failed marriage, and a frustrating dating life with several women, Bob had a gaypiphany.

by weyus November 8, 2009

asshole asymptote

The mathematical function that describes how you can’t really get all of the shit off your asshole by wiping. It is asymptotic and tends towards 0 as a function of number of wipes, but never quite gets there.

With a bidet, it’s actually possible to clean your asshole completely. Wiping just follows the asshole asymptote.

by weyus November 9, 2022