weyus's definitions

toxic waste dump

A bowel movement that stinks to high heaven, leaves streaks on the toilet porcelain, and in many cases, induces tears in anyone who comes near it. Anyone who comes in contact with it feels like it's an environmental disaster. Often the consistency of a chocolate soft serve ice cream.

Dan: What the fuck just happened in the shitter - it stinks like Love Canal?!? Wes - what did you do?
Wes: (sheeplishly grinning) I just took a toxic waste dump. Soary.

by weyus July 26, 2018

rational blue balls

The extreme mental and sometimes emotional frustration that comes from trying to reason with someone who is not using rationality to drive their decisions (e.g. religious fanatics, conspiracy theorists, etc.)

John: Hey have you heard about this documentary called "Plandemic" - it's about how THEY created the coronavirus in order to enslave us with a vaccine that everyone "has to take".

Peter: What the fuck are you talking about John? I watched it and it's clearly horseshit. No one in that video is credible and almost all of them have been debunked as crackpots elsewhere...why are you telling me about this shit?

John: Dude, you don't understand, THEY have a plan and we are going to lose our freedom, bro. Why can't you see? Don't be a sheep, man!

Peter: Thanks John, now you've given me rational blue balls. I need to go talk with a reasonable person and maybe I'll feel better.

by weyus May 7, 2020

Tindersphere

The distance one is willing to travel in order to have a sexual liaison with someone they just matched with on Tinder.

John Adams: I just connected with this super hot Methodist. She is only two townships over and is still of childbearing age.

Ben Franklin: I hope you get to see 'neath her petticoat.

John Adams: Alas, my horse is lame and thus she is not within my Tindersphere.

by weyus August 28, 2016

Big Globe

The worldwide cabal of globe (and sometimes atlas and gazetteer) manufacturers that foments discord around the world in order to promote revolution and the creation of new national boundaries in order to promote sales of their products.

John: Did you hear about that revolution that started in southwest Namibia? You can guarantee that Big Globe is behind it. Of course, that's nothing like their crowning achievement, the dissolution of the Soviet Union.

Richard: Bastards.

by weyus July 27, 2016

living bicariously

Experiencing intimacy with a person of the same sex through someone else. Note that the person whom you are living bicariously through can be of either sex.

Bob: Hey John, why are you so close to Tina since she's been dating Rob? She barely even has time for you since she and Rob bang all the time.
John: Believe it or not, I find myself really attracted to Bob, and I'm living bicariously through Tina.
Bob: Bro....

by weyus June 5, 2018

cooter haulin'

The process whereby a woman uses her vagina to transport items (usually contraband). A female-only alternative to the prison wallet.

Mary: Hey Bob, here's that pot vape pen you wanted.
Bob: Thanks! But how did you get it past customs?
Mary: I did a bit of cooter haulin'.
Bob: (as he gingerly sets the pen down) Ummm, thanks?

by weyus July 26, 2018

Halfling

A potential mate that is no older than half your age. Largely attractive due to the mathematical relationship between their age and yours.

Wil: That chick is only 21 and I'm 43. I totally wanna make out with her.
Ray: C'mon dude, she isn't even that hot. You just wanna make out with her because she's your halfling.
Wil: Exactly!

by weyus August 3, 2017