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weyus's definitions

toxic waste dump

A bowel movement that stinks to high heaven, leaves streaks on the toilet porcelain, and in many cases, induces tears in anyone who comes near it. Anyone who comes in contact with it feels like it's an environmental disaster. Often the consistency of a chocolate soft serve ice cream.
Dan: What the fuck just happened in the shitter - it stinks like Love Canal?!? Wes - what did you do?
Wes: (sheeplishly grinning) I just took a toxic waste dump. Soary.
by weyus July 26, 2018
mugGet the toxic waste dumpmug.

rational blue balls

The extreme mental and sometimes emotional frustration that comes from trying to reason with someone who is not using rationality to drive their decisions (e.g. religious fanatics, conspiracy theorists, etc.)
John: Hey have you heard about this documentary called "Plandemic" - it's about how THEY created the coronavirus in order to enslave us with a vaccine that everyone "has to take".

Peter: What the fuck are you talking about John? I watched it and it's clearly horseshit. No one in that video is credible and almost all of them have been debunked as crackpots elsewhere...why are you telling me about this shit?

John: Dude, you don't understand, THEY have a plan and we are going to lose our freedom, bro. Why can't you see? Don't be a sheep, man!

Peter: Thanks John, now you've given me rational blue balls. I need to go talk with a reasonable person and maybe I'll feel better.
by weyus May 7, 2020
mugGet the rational blue ballsmug.

asshole asymptote

The mathematical function that describes how you can’t really get all of the shit off your asshole by wiping. It is asymptotic and tends towards 0 as a function of number of wipes, but never quite gets there.
With a bidet, it’s actually possible to clean your asshole completely. Wiping just follows the asshole asymptote.
by weyus November 9, 2022
mugGet the asshole asymptotemug.

cooter haulin'

The process whereby a woman uses her vagina to transport items (usually contraband). A female-only alternative to the prison wallet.
Mary: Hey Bob, here's that pot vape pen you wanted.
Bob: Thanks! But how did you get it past customs?
Mary: I did a bit of cooter haulin'.
Bob: (as he gingerly sets the pen down) Ummm, thanks?
by weyus July 26, 2018
mugGet the cooter haulin'mug.

Halfling

A potential mate that is no older than half your age. Largely attractive due to the mathematical relationship between their age and yours.
Wil: That chick is only 21 and I'm 43. I totally wanna make out with her.
Ray: C'mon dude, she isn't even that hot. You just wanna make out with her because she's your halfling.
Wil: Exactly!
by weyus August 3, 2017
mugGet the Halflingmug.

shitfacetime

To use the iPhone 4's Facetime video calling feature whilst shitfaced.
I was out of town on a business trip, I got hammered one night and decided to shitfacetime my girlfriend and see if she would show me her tits.
by weyus August 5, 2010
mugGet the shitfacetimemug.

Google circle jerk

A circle jerk that occurs in a Google+ huddle.
Guys, it'll be ok when all of us here at the fraternity move away after graduation, after all, we can still Google circle jerk.
by weyus July 22, 2011
mugGet the Google circle jerkmug.

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