the comand'r's definitions

extortion abortion

When an extortion attempt turns in to an aborted mission

Hub: dude, what even happened to the whole shit-show with Patricia?

Barney: you mean the voice memo threatening me with urban dictionary posts to get me fired?

Hub: ya, did you turn that voice memo in to the police and California Bar Association?

Barney: nah, from some reason she backed off after filing a bunch of anonymous complaints, essentially pulling an extortion abortion and not sure why. Oddly he switched is focus on Kat

Hub: ah, dousche defined

by the comand'r January 2, 2024

no Starbucks

A location that is so remote that it does not even have a Starbucks within 5 minutes.

Driving through Paradise California a few months after the Camp Fire...
Jillian: Wow, this place is really desolate. It's like we are in the middle of nowhere.
Terry: Ya it is, no Starbucks.
Jillian: Not even able to place a mobile order to pull a Starbucks virtual cut.

by the comand'r June 25, 2019

Pie hole to bye hole

Simple 5 word term for the digestion process. Going from the pie hole (mouth/input) to the bye hole (ass hole/output).

Tamara: Adam, you don’t seem like you enjoy my cooking anymore.

Adam: I love your cooking. Just recently the pace of the pie hole to bye hole has picked up a bit. Not sure if I am aging or if you’ve been recently spicing up the dishes. I had a reaper reminder the other day. I woke up and had to blast mud and it was hot.

by the comand'r June 17, 2021

crowd clearer

A monster fart

Paige: This is a great Zeppelin cover band, but this place is packed.

Jillian: I can get us some space with a crowd clearer. I let one go upstairs, and made room. I got another one chambered, so just give me the word.

Barney: I think we are better off with the crowd. I’ll pass, pun intended.

by the comand'r August 28, 2022

sea turdle

The result of taking a crap in the ocean, aka code brown when executed in a pool.

Ryan: Sarah and I were doing a deep dive and she dropped a deuce at about 45 feet right in her wet suit.

Jill: I had heard about the sea turdle, though never known someone to actually see one hatched in person.

by the comand'r October 26, 2014

location dropper

Someone who regularly references where they have been in an effort to make them sound important. Similar to a name dropper, but uses places instead of names.

I just had lunch with Shannon - she is such a location dropper. We were just catching up on the past and she could not help but to continue to subtly brag about all the travel she has done. While at lunch she found it necessary to tell me that her baguette was nothing like the ones she had in Paris last month, her wine tasted nothing like the wine in Tuscany that she had last week and the service could not hold a candle to the Ritz, where she is returning to next month.

by the comand'r October 17, 2013

betraydar

The ability to identify people who suck; people who will betray you

Brett: Dude, your brother totally screwed you. How’d you know that was coming. You’ve been telling me for years the guy’s is a dousche

Barney: I got betraydar. Saw it coming the day I met him. He’s my brother. You should have known as well - he was your neighbor growing up.

by the comand'r November 10, 2021