12 definitions by the slow kid
| 1. | Hawk Harrelson | ||
|
THE most annoying announcer, not just in baseball but in all of sports. Has coined some catchphrases so lame that they would even embarrass that fool Stuart Scott. Phrases such as "grab some bench" and "he gone". Wow, what a wordsmith you are, "Hawk". Gee Hawk, why don't you tell us about your awesome .239 career batting average, and how you gave up baseball to be a failure as a professional golfer. Hawk Harrelson sucks so bad that he could be on ESPN.
|
|||
| 2. | Mardi Gras Juice | ||
|
n. The putrid, festering liquid that accumulates along curbs and in potholes on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras. Mardi Gras Juice is usually made up of several distinct liquids, including (but not limited to): beer, spit, urine, Pat O'Brien's hurricanes, semen, human blood, rainwater, mucous, suntan lotion, feces, sweat, pig's blood, assorted other alcoholic beverages and soft drinks, breast milk, tears of lost souls, and rich, chocolatey Ovaltine.
Needless to say, Mardi Gras Juice should be considered hazardous and should not be consumed or handled in any way, unless you find some streads in it that can be exchanged for a boobie flash. That guy just stepped ankle-deep into a puddle of Mardi Gras Juice. If that were me I'd cut off my own foot.
|
|||
| 3. | hecca | ||
|
A word used to add emphasis to a statement. Taken from the similar phrase "hella" and modified by over-educated douchebags from the Pacific Northwest for no apparent reason. Trevor: Hey Josh! Your cargo pants are hecca sweet?
Josh: Thanks, dude! Wanna go to Starbucks and get a latte? |
|||
| 4. | swaint | ||
|
n.
1. Sweaty taint. Experienced when hot, humid conditions result in sweat between the nutsack and the bunghole. Swaint usually occurs in conjunction with swass and swalls. CAUTION: If you think you might be experiencing swaint, seek air conditioning and immediately apply a liberal amount of Triple-Action Gold Bond Medicated Powder to your taint and nutsack (if so equipped). I cut the lawn in the heat yesterday and got a really bad case of swaint. Holy shit, I never knew my taint had so many sweat glands.
|
|||
| 5. | Angie Daddy | ||
|
A joke phrase used as a follow-up to "Joe Mama". This makes the victim of the joke feel even more insulted if they fall for it twice. Similar in execution to the "Deez Nuts" type of joke. John: "Hey, someone was looking for you while you were gone."
Mike: "Yeah, who?" John: "Joe Mama!!! Ahhhhh!!!! Mike: "Aw, fuck you man." John: "No, seriously, there were two people here asking for you." Mike: "Who?" John: "Joe Mama, ANGIE DADDY!!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!! Dumbass! Mike: "Go to hell, asshole!" |
|||
| 6. | RADS | ||
|
An acronym for a medical condition known as "Red-Ass Dick Syndrome". Usually caused by excessive amounts of dry humping, resulting in severe chafing of the skin just below the head of the penis. Sufferers of RADS often experience pain while walking, running, having sex, jerking off, eating, driving, and breathing. The only known cure is to get with chicks who are easy so that you can actually have sex. Check out Jesse over there. He's gotta walk half bent-over because he got a bad case of RADS Saturday night.
|
|||
| 7. | streads | ||
|
Short for street-beads. Found in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, streads are the sad, unwanted strings of beads seen laying in the street, often submerged in Mardi Gras Juice. Streads are good for giving to women whose titties you want to see but who might not normally be bead-worthy. Broken streads can be easily fixed by twisting the ends together. Fortunately, the stread recipient usually won't notice this shoddy repair until she has already shown the goods, at which point it's too late, ha-ha, I saw your boobs. Hey Steve! I got that girl over there to show her tits for some nasty old streads! Now let's go get a daquiri-filled plastic football!
|
|||
