melissa(the one with herpes) will never offer you a pillow to sleep on at night, a blanket when you're freezing, a coughdrop when you're coughing your lungs out, a can of coke, a paper cup of sink water, a plate to eat, a napkin to wipe your face, her toilet, lipgloss, a rubberband, shoes if you're barefoot and there's broken glass eveywhere, and she won't let you even sit on the couch or turn on the tv. why? because everything belongs to frank.
me: melissa, can i use your house phone?
melissa: wtf no. frank pays for that, tanya.
me: well, can you atleast give me a quarter so i can use a payphone?
melissa: a quarter? have you gone insane? how is frank going to pay his bus fare for work tomorrow?
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the way mike's little brother jason, and a million of other little brothers of the world, ask money for pizza. to be said in a really fast mumbly voice.
mike: jason, where are you going?
jason: outside...gimmemoneyforpizza
me: hey jason! whattup fool!
jason: nothing...gimmemoneyforpizza
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a "desiree crush" is a type of crush where a person does something nice to you, and you think that they have a crush on you. it's the blatant opposite of a
mike crush and a
tanya crush
ex 1: that kid just held the door open for me, he totally likes me. he's desiree crushin'
ex 2: i just got into a car accident and i was hurt really badly and i was in a coma and the guy who hit me came and visited me at the hospital and brought me flowers and chocolate. he totally has a desiree crush on me
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this is used as peace-son and has the same pronounciation as the surf-skate store pacsun but not the same meaning.
person 1: yo, i gtg. be early to homeroom tomorrow so i can copy your math hw or i'll tape your sister
person 2: oh noes!!! k i will.
person 1: k bye
*ten minutes later*
person 1: WTF i said BYE!!!!!!!
person 2: paxsun
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the stevie wonder complex is a complex where you use your hands to feel around for something and not your eyes
tanya: (hyperventilating) i can't find my phone! it's not in my fucking bag!
mike:
"let mommy use her fingers" (mike uses the stevie wonder complex by feeling around the outside of the bag and not using his eyes and low and behold.. walla! mike finds tanya's phone then smacks her)
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a "mike crush" is a type of crush you have on someone that is nice to you when they don't have to be. and all you can think about is sleeping with them to repay them for their kindness.
ex 1: oh that kid was so nice to me on my first day of work while everyone else didn't even notice that i was there! i think i'm starting to have a mike crush on him.
ex 2: i just dropped a dime and that guy just picked it up and handed it back to me. total mike crush.
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like milk , but gay.
person 1: wtf, is that a pink heart on your shirt?
person 2: nah, chill. it's purple. or maroon. or lavender. or maybe indigo, or violet ^_^
person 1: wtf? even worse. you're homogenized
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