pirates were thought to be people who stole from other people, and left a trail of death in their wake, but not many people know that, while they DID do most of that, their main purpose was to travel around the world giving candy to small children. the killing and stealing was just to get money for the candy. and for rum.
pirates also wore really sweet clothes, and it didn't really matter if they lost a leg... they still wore a peg-leg. they still do, actually.
rupert: dude my great granddad hated pirates!!!! he was awesome!
pirate: DIE YOU FIEND!!!!.... oooh... $50!!!! sweet! more money for rum and candy!