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rogerthewhale's definitions

Teacher With Benefits

Every high school boys' fantasy. A teacher that will have sex with him.
Jake: Man Mrs. Johnson looks like a great piece of ass. I would totally do her!

Cody: I fucked her after school last week! She was damn fine.

Jake: You tapped that?!?

Cody: Yeah. Haven't you ever had a teacher with benefits? It's awesome!!!
by rogerthewhale September 11, 2011
mugGet the Teacher With Benefitsmug.

Equator Penis Measuring System

The Equator Penis Measuring System (EPMS) is the system that gives an approximation of one's penis size. Generally speaking, the closer you live to the Ecuador, the larger your penis is. For example, Africans and Latin Americans living on the equator will have penises measuring around 11 or 12 inches hard, while the English and Scottish living up north have penises measuring 3 inches flaccid, or up to 5 inches hard. There are also intermediate points. Italians, for example, have penises about 6 inches flaccid, and 8 inches hard.
Example of the Equator Penis Measuring System

Canadian: Eh, my penis is aboot 3 inches.

Italian: What's a matta you, uh?? I got a 8 inch sausage! It could slap you and break-a your face!!

Black guy: Y'all niggas is small. I got 12 inches up in this muthafucka. Y'all my bitches now. SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!! SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!!
by rogerthewhale March 8, 2013
mugGet the Equator Penis Measuring Systemmug.

Misfire

The failure to shoot your load as you reach orgasm. The misfire may be due to a recent ejaculation, or chasing an orgasm way to soon.
Bill: I jerked it for the 4th time today and tried too hard to reach orgasm and I misfired.

Bob: Dafuq is your problem man?! You don't tell me shit like that. Later dude, enjoy your blue balls.
by rogerthewhale January 15, 2013
mugGet the Misfiremug.

Basic

It fucking means it has a pH above 7.
John: "Look at that sodium hydroxide eat away at that aluminum. What a strong basic and caustic compound."

Ashley: "Oh my god. That totally reminds me of Jessica. She's so basic, the other day she was wearing yoga pants and wearing uggs and drinking a starbucks and talking on her iphone and..."

John: "Shut up bitch, and learn proper English."
by rogerthewhale October 25, 2014
mugGet the Basicmug.

Snowgasm

What a kid has when his school declares a snow day.
OMG mom. No school! I'm going to have a snowgasm.

Don't forget to use protection. I left your gloves in the closet.
by rogerthewhale February 8, 2014
mugGet the Snowgasmmug.

Boner Doner

A collection of porn that one lends to another.
John: Dude, since Cindy left last week, I haven't had a good, explosive hard-on.

Joe: I got you covered dude. Have these tapes. They're pretty spicy. They show Jenna Jameson sitting on a dick then standing up, over and over, very rapidly.

John: Awesome. Thanks for the boner doner dude.
by rogerthewhale January 15, 2011
mugGet the Boner Donermug.

Cream

Verb

1) To jiz/make a romance explosion

Noun

1) A load/romance goo

2) A rock band from the 1960s, who's music today is still loved, despite having only 4 studio albums.
A heard Crossroads on the radio today. Clapton's guitar solo made me cream my shorts.
by rogerthewhale April 8, 2013
mugGet the Creammug.

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