ralph's definitions

high school

A miserable prison for young people whose lives are usually hard enough as it is. Often there's a poor kid who hasn't eaten in four days and doesn't have electricity. He sits and waits for lunch, where he gets to eat a piece of month-old bread and drink half a glass of concentrated orange juice. That is, unless someone steals it and pours it on his head. Later, he gets his clothes stolen in the locker room and a spray of deodourant in his eyeballs. Lastly he's taunted by girls who have so little ego that they mock the poor kid, just for kicks. Then he trudges home carrying a 40 pound backpack because someone forgot to pick him up.

Hey Ralph; where ya off to?
High...sch..the place that I go in the morning..won't you please shoot me now?

by Ralph January 12, 2005

kooter-cat

A person, or Kooter, having nymphomaniac tendencies.

That Guila girl is one crazy kooter-cat!

by Ralph July 1, 2003

job stopper

A tattoo on your body that is exposed all the time. (i.e. a tattoo on your neck, nuckles, forearms, hands, face, etc.)

It's hard to get a job with an expose tattoo...

Cookie: "what's that on your neck? it rocks!"
Ginger: "it's my new tattoo"
Cookie: "that's the best job stopper i've ever seen!"
Ginger: "Thanks, that's why I play in a band..."

by Ralph March 23, 2005

charcoal stick

A term used to describe a trashy white girl's fantasy of black penii.

Danielle, Gina, and Kelly sure are fans of the Charcoal stick.

by ralph February 24, 2005

Vegan-Vampire

A vampire who drinks tomato juice.

Vampire 1: Hey, wanna hit the whorehouse tonight and have a few drinks?

Vampire 2: No thanks; I'm vegan.

by Ralph March 27, 2005

Star Warriors

A term used to make fun of Star Wars. Everyone who uses this word knows that it's Star Wars, yet they say it like this anyway. Usually very annoying.

OMGz YOU SCI FI PEOPLE SUCK GO PLAY STAR WARRIORS SOMEWHERE ELSe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

by Ralph February 22, 2005

Pessimist

A person who, if they refrain from suicide, will one day be happy.

A: It's freezing. My heater's broken, and it's ten below zero. I cut my arm on a rusty fence, and my idiot neighbour pissed on my house today. I hate this goddamn planet!

B: Hey, you like apple pie?

A: Shut the...well yeah I actually I do.

B: Great, let's go. No, put your wallet down; I've got it covered.

by Ralph January 13, 2005