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ralph's definitions

Pessimist

A person who, if they refrain from suicide, will one day be happy.
A: It's freezing. My heater's broken, and it's ten below zero. I cut my arm on a rusty fence, and my idiot neighbour pissed on my house today. I hate this goddamn planet!

B: Hey, you like apple pie?

A: Shut the...well yeah I actually I do.

B: Great, let's go. No, put your wallet down; I've got it covered.
by Ralph January 13, 2005
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seminoles

what FSU uses for their mascot. Pretty much is a reflection of the their stupidity and lower class because infact the seminoles were a mut tribe... don't think this is the truth... look it up, they actaully teach you this in upper end universities. Seminoles were in fact a group of indians, some from over here and there, as well as almost 60%runaway slaves... interesting! makes you think... oh wait no thinking isnt an option at FSU
that is one sketchy person, must be a seminole!
by ralph July 15, 2006
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Squirrel

This is a term for a light person who can drink as much if not more than you.
Eric Ward is a squirril. He drank his body weight in beer tonite.
by Ralph February 12, 2005
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Kook

Anyone with an I.Q. above 100 who refuses to mentally lobotomize themself and accept the status quo and the rules set down by an imaginary authority.
"Oh, there goes Dan, saying we shouldn't cut out our citizens' livers and throw them in the fire. He's a kook." -What ancient Mayans may have considered to be a kook.
by Ralph February 14, 2005
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Fieldston

1.n-the act of sticking a rock in your anus and farting it out
2.v-to give a man a blow job when they are asleep
1.I got $100 for giving myself a fieldston
2.Joe gave Tim a fieldston
by Ralph May 13, 2005
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Fieldston

1.n-the act of sticking a rock in your anus and farting it out
2.v-to give someone a blow job when they are asleep
1.My friend gave me $100 if I did a fieldston
2.Joe gave Tim a fieldston
by Ralph June 18, 2005
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Dark Kiss

When someone kisses someone elses asshole.
Also known as "kissing the starfish"
Uncle Jake bent over and I licked my lips and gave him a dark kiss
by Ralph June 18, 2005
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