patrick w. crabtree's definitions

Woodstuck

The mindset of a Baby Boomer who cannot mentally escape his or her personal 60s life experience.

"Man, that cat's Woodstuck -- he's still listening to Vanilla Fudge every day!"

by Patrick W. Crabtree January 13, 2008

Hilliary

Hillary Clinton's (rumored) actual Christian name before she had it changed for public relations reasons. It's also rumored that she had been dubbed by her high school peers as "The H".

"Did you hear Hilliary Clinton spin that tale about being under sniper fire when she landed in Bosnia? What a whopper!"

by Patrick W. Crabtree April 14, 2008

Obalming

A process of mass hypnosis whereby the general public is mentally mesmerized through the soft repetition of the words "change" and "hope". Victims of this manifestation become zombie-like non-thinking beings, all of whom gape and stare just as if they have been embalmed.

"You should have seen coming out of the voting booths, walking like Frankenstein and staring straight ahead -- clearly, some heavy-duty obalming has transformed them all from their normal, thinking selves."

by Patrick W. Crabtree April 14, 2008

Hillarule

A rule, law, or other statute which has been bent, defied, and/or otherwise violated for the specific purpose of personally benefiting the perpetrator.

"Well, if a Hillarule is invoked, the Democrats in Michigan and Florida will actually have their 2007 primary election votes counted as valid."

by Patrick W. Crabtree April 14, 2008

Anec-Dotage

Old age senility evidenced by oral comments or writings which are as nostalgic as they are stupid.

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman...?" -- Clearly, old Slick Willie was conveying his Anec-Dotage.

by Patrick W. Crabtree January 27, 2008

fartyx

Any person who farts in a bathtub full of water and then sniffs the bubbles as they emerge. Also, a general reference, based upon this knowledge, to a dumbass.

He caught the clap from his girlfriend and she told him that he must have contracted it from a commode seat and he believed her - what a fartyx!

by Patrick W. Crabtree September 10, 2008

donkey-humped

The actuality of having been screwed in some heinous manner by an especially noxious Democrat.

God, Gore really donkey-humped us by raising all those bothersome, well-quashed environmental issues right before the election!

by Patrick W. Crabtree August 4, 2006