This is a definitive source for taking the fantastic and embellished stories of male virgins who are addicted to the internet and "translating" them into factual accounts in the proper perspective.
1. Eric says, "ZOMG! I hooked up with a SERIOUS hottie last night after the party." When run through the Kardosaurus we find that Eric REALLY meant, "I was home alone last night and watching American Idol before bed. I fell asleep and dreamt of Paula Abdul and woke up with sticky sheets."
2. Eric says, "Man! My roommate is REALLY mad at me for putting him on the phone with a girl when he was with his girlfriend!" The Kardosaurus translates that to, "Look at me...anyone? Is anyone there? Someone pay attention to me!"